love-life problems
One of the things your parent’s divorce can do to you is complicate your love-life. How? Basically in one of three ways. The most extreme (most toxic) influence is to make you mistrust marriage. The reasoning goes something like this: if marriage didn’t work for them, it’s not going to work for me. If you feel…
Your lover looks at other attractive people when he or she is with you. The ‘looking’ might be subtle or more obvious to you and other people. Maybe you didn’t care at first. But now it’s starting to bother you. You’ve told yourself that looking is ‘freedom of vision.’ You’ve told yourself that it doesn’t…
To be sure, our mothers have a very powerful influence on our love-lives. Why? Ideally, they are the first to teach us about love. For the most part I’ll be talking about your ‘biological mother.’ That’s the mother who gave birth to you. Even though the role of mother has more to do with which…
Much of your love-life thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are learned. Your most important teachers are members of your own family of origin. You learn mostly by observing what members of your family experience in their love-lives. The good news is, if you’ve learned something about love that is complicating your love-life, you can unlearn it…
First up, is the realization that threatening suicide to get what you want in a love relationship is fundamentally sickness. There is no way to rationally explain the need for this kind of behavior in love. Then why does it occur? Because it is an extreme way of securing ‘control’ over someone. Before discussing the…
This post is about a specific instance of love-life stalking. The urge to stalk that I’m talking about occurs when a person takes a lover who is suspected of still being interested in an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. Before we get specific, let’s talk more generally about stalking. What is it and why do some people…
Send us your suggestions for the love-life posts you would like to read on this blog by writing a comment in response to this post. We will do our best to write about the psychological issues involved. The great thing about our Post Suggestion Box is you get to tell us what you need to know.…
Here’s the scenario, the father of your baby, whom you thought was single, has another family. Now this is fundamentally different from a love-life situation where he doesn’t have another family. Why? Because if he doesn’t have another family, which means he’s single, there exists the possibility that he could come back (remote or not)…
If you want to increase the chances of finding and sustaining a healthy love relationship, I strongly recommend you review your love-life. I’m calling this exercise a Love-Life Review. By doing a Love-Life Review you’re acknowledging to yourself, first and foremost, that a healthy love relationship isn’t just about finding the right person, at the…
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