Book Reviews

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life

learn to love book cover

This is my newest and best guide to changing your love life. Great reviews! Available now at all book distributors and in all formats. The major theme in this book is, what you learn about love relationships in the course of your life determines the health and success of your love life. I show you how to make the “psychological changes” that will dramatically improve your love life. I created a simple and highly effective method of helping you find out what you’ve learned about love relationships, so you can change what’s unhealthy and interfering with finding or sustaining a healthy love relationship. My “Unlearning Method” has helped my patients take control of their love lives. It will show you how to take control of your love life!

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Book Reviews


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a book that explains all anyone needs to know about love relationships. In this book, Dr. Thomas Jordan teaches us how we learn about unhealthy love relationships and how we replicate what we have previously learnt in our own love lives. One such example is those who have learnt that abuse is a part of love relationships, find partners who abuse them or become abusers themselves, or both. Furthermore, we learn about our individual psychological love lives, the aftereffects of our unhealthy relationship experiences, and how to unlearn unhealthy relationship behaviors so we can practice healthy relationship behaviors instead. So, a person who has learnt abuse as a part of love relationships is to unlearn this, and practice the opposite of abuse which is mentioned in the book.

What I love most about this book is the wealth of information packed in it. There is so much unique content in just 124 pages. Everything mentioned in the book applies to the subject under discussion and there is no unnecessary detail to fill out space and waste the reader’s time. Dr. Jordan’s narration about his personal experience learning about love and how this affected his love life later on was a nice inclusion. It made the book more interesting and relatable. There are also practice questions to encourage the reader to participate, apply what is being taught, dive deep and ask personal questions. There is nothing I dislike about the book. I will mention that the way the book is written is academic and might be slightly difficult for those who aren’t well educated, or who are non-native English speakers to understand it. This is because apart from the vocabulary, there are lots of long, convoluted sentences in the book that make comprehension tough. Other than this, the book is brilliant. Even the editing was amazing.

I give this book four out of four stars. The book is truly spectacular, and the aforementioned issues were not enough to reduce the rating. I found the book to be more beneficial than I originally thought; I learnt a lot about myself and I am glad I read it. Readers who love nonfiction and those who want to fix their love relationships by getting to the root of the problem will find the book interesting and beneficial. As for those who dislike nonfiction, have no interest in academic discussions, or love relationships will probably not enjoy it.

Shillah A.

Learn To Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-help book that talks about the unhealthy love relationships that we develop and the strategies by which we can unlearn them. The author points out that what can be learned can also be unlearned or re-learned. Different toxic behaviors have been listed and ways to overcome the negative aspects have been highlighted. The change process included in the book involves learning to make permanent changes in love relationships though it might prove a little difficult. This book is based on years of clinical research to come up with indisputable facts and it, therefore, includes educational and therapeutic strategies. The author has employed multiple life examples that are related to many relationship difficulties.

The book is so educative and therefore there are several things I loved about the book. The book is divided into three parts and an outline of the chapters on what each part will be dealing with. Dr. Thomas Jordan has similarly included researchers' insights in the book such as Dr. Leo Buscaglia and Marco Grassi an Italian painter. He also narrows down to the personal level of the reader in addressing some of the solutions and also uses different kinds of teaching such as using formulas and this, therefore, doesn't allow room for boredom. The reader also has an opportunity to fill in their experiences. There is a summary after each lesson highlighting the important aspects in bold and in a simple format.

However, despite enjoying the book there are some negative aspects I noted while reading the book. The author uses a lot of words to explain a particular aspect and also there is a repetition of facts that have already been clarified. The method that the author used in outlining seems to be so similar and one may be unable to decipher what category they are in. The book contains very few typos and the terminology is simple to understand without being drawn away. I would therefore rate this book 4 out of 4 stars since it was professionally edited. The book's proper alignment also affirms this. I would recommend this book to teenagers and adults who may be experiencing unhealthy love relationships and those who might have withdrawn after several setbacks. Researchers who are also interested in the psychology of love relationships may also find this book useful.

Miriam nkere

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-help book written by Thomas Jordan. The author intends to open the eyes of his audience to the negative things they must have learned about relationships and how to unlearn them to enjoy a healthy love relationship. Dr. Thomas Jordan divided his teaching into three parts. The first part was 'Unhealthy Love Life.' And he started by telling us what an unhealthy love life means and does to our relationships. He then goes further to the 'Psychological Aspect,' which is very important. The author stresses that to change an unhealthy love life, one has to work on the psychological part of the love life learned earlier. These are the negative experiences stored in our memory like abandonment, abuse, mistrust, neglect, etc. We have to consciously unlearn all these negative experiences that are likely to affect our relationships in the future. He takes us to the last part, which is the 'Unlearning Method.' This part is the highlight for me, and the author included formulas and practical exercises to help readers evaluate their love lives and make corrections. If you want to know more about these unhealthy relationships and how to remedy them, please pick the book and read it.

The author did thorough research to put these great lessons together. Thomas Jordan is a psychologist, and his wealth of knowledge made his teachings so refreshing and engaging. I appreciate the author for adding his personal love life accounts in his writing to motivate his readers. The aspect I enjoyed most is the table provided by the author for readers to rate their relationships. It helped me to know the kind of relationship I have been exposed to and the kind of love relationship I have given out. I must attest that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The author was able to hold my attention right from the first page to the last. He wrote in a simple language that made my reading experience enjoyable and seamless. I even felt I was undergoing a therapy session, and it gave me insights into how to enjoy a healthy love relationship. I do not hate anything about this book because it is life-transforming. I highly recommend this book to singles and married people, especially those suffering from their past relationships and who are afraid to love again.

In conclusion, I am glad that the book is also professionally edited. I found only a few typographical errors in it, and it didn't affect my comprehension and love for the book. Therefore, I'm happy to give this book a perfect rating of four out of four stars because it gives hope, enhances a better love life, and helps those struggling with emotional problems.


According to Dr. Thomas Jordan, the health and success of one's love life is determined by what they have learnt about love relationships in their lives. In his book, Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, He argues that our ability to learn is one of our greatest assets and that we become what we learn. There are times when we know we are learning and other times when we are not even aware. The book is a culmination of years of clinical research on the topic of love psychology. The author states facts and statistics gathered from his research and experiments to make his points. He talks about the basic characteristics of a healthy love life, then the psychological aspect of love and finally the ways we can unlearn what we have learnt overtime about love. With very clear examples, he also talks about the effects of abandonment, control, abuse, dependency and dishonesty on a person's love life.

I loved that this book was factual and practical. I came across a lot of issues that I've seen others go through clearly elaborated, explained and solutions provided by the author. He impeccably tackled the issue of how family and environment affect our attitudes towards giving and receiving love. I enjoyed reading the analysis that the author did on the issue of defensiveness in relationships as I could relate to it. It is funny how one can have a problem and not even know about it until someone explains it to them. Reading this book was like attending a therapy session for me.

The author delivers his message precisely. This is a feature I found very impressive about the book. A topic as sensitive as this requires precision which the author delivered in style. Too much information would have easily made it boring. The language he used was simple and easy to comprehend. He did not use much jargon as most professionals do when writing. The book was also edited professionally. I liked the organization of his writing. It was easy to trace back to any specific area I needed clarification on. My favorite part of the book was the one on 'Unlearning Methods'. I love when practical solutions are offered to problems and this part did exactly that. There was nothing I disliked about this book and therefore give it a perfect rating of 4 out of 4 stars. We all need to give, receive and maintain love. I'd therefore recommend this book to all readers, especially those who want to learn about love relationships.

Meryem Fontes

The book Learning to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, by Dr. Thomas Jordan, is a self-help book that promises to assist you to improve your relationships by healing yourself from wrong beliefs, wrong apprenticeship, and unconscious self-sabotage. It brings to the reader a step-by-step guide where they can make self-evaluation and identify the mistakes and failures. This book was organized into three parts: in Part I, the author teaches you how to identify the problem itself. In Part II, the reader analyzes the love life history. And, in Part III, the writer explains how to "unlearn" the mistakes and reframe them for positive things.

It is very interesting how the writer explains that previous experiences (especially the familiar ones) and problems can be replicated unconsciously and mess up the actual love life. It can lead to unhealthy relationships. One example from the book is: "A woman is abandoned by her father at a young age, and marries a man who abandons her after she gives birth to their children. Her marriage replicates the abandonment she experienced in her family of origin". The author explains well how psychological love life affects the quality of relationships. Since we were born, these experiences stay with us as emotional memory. So, problems like abandonment, rejection, or exploitation, like explained in the book, we could project these on our partners, causing negative interferences and even relationship terminations. Inclusive he uses his own experience to illustrate how it could be a weed in someone's life.

The author brings an excellent idea of how we can reframe the beliefs for something healthier. In the topic "Changing Your Psychological Love Life", he brings the practical technic about how to remodel these thoughts lines for more positive ones. This therapeutic self-sacrifice is rewarding and brings a lot of benefits. Personally, I love the book. It taught me a lot about life relationships. These instructions, in my opinion, apply to other types of relationships, like friendships. I didn't find out any errors, the design is perfect, and the formatting is very comfortable for reading. For these reasons, I gladly rate this book as 4 out of 4 stars. I recommend this book for everyone who wants to improve their relationships, someone who passes through this kind of trouble, someone who wishes to learn about this, or seekers of this kind of content or knowledge in general as well.

Ana Victoria2002

Up until now, I have never read a self-help or guide book about love. I have read romantic books as a teenager and I have watched tons of movies about love, but never read something about the mechanics of the subject itself or how we can alter our perception of romance by analyzing our patterns of behavior and beliefs. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a guide written by psychologist Thomas Jordan who writes about his research on love and how people can increase their chances of finding healthy and long-lasting love by changing what we think love is.

The book has a mixture of examples and more scientific jargon that allows readers to identify key aspects of unhealthy love relationships in order to target them and try to change our vision. However, it is not a guide that talks about what sort of partners we should seek in order to commit to a healthy relationship. It emphasizes that the only permanent and real way to change our love life is to change ourselves, so it is a nice take on this idea that we are not the problem, rather our previous partners are. A detail that has caught my attention is how the author created this small summary at the end of the different parts of the book in order to summarize his teaching and allow readers to interact with what they have learned. It was really useful to do introspection on our beliefs.

Dr. Jordan makes an excellent case in identifying the most common unhealthy love traits and allowing readers to dive into their psychology in order to reconfigure what we believe love is and stop replicating behavioral patterns that are no good. The author gives very good explanations on how to alter our behavior and change from within to never face the same sort of problems again. The book is very clear to understand, the author manages to organize his writing in a very precise way. However, I was not overall amazed by the book. The author talks about love, about what we conceive to be love because of our experiences, what we learn about love in each of our relationships and how our knowledge creates behavioral patterns that later on affect our relationships. However, it was not something that resonated with me at the moment. It might be useful for someone who is actively looking out for advice about romantic relationships or for someone who has been stuck in a cycle of unhealthy partners, otherwise it has substance that makes it entertaining for an average reader. I give this book 4 stars out of 4 stars. I found a few grammatical mistakes, but over-all the book would be really helpful for people in need to change their relationships. 


There's been a high rate of divorces and broken relationships, leaving shattered people in their wake. People have gone through heartbreaking experiences as a result of love relationships. Why this happens and how to correct them is what this book has to offer. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is an informative, thorough book about love relationships and why they fail a lot. It tries to answer the question: "why is love so difficult?" Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., as a psychoanalyst and psychologist with over 30 years of experience, brings his expertise to bear in writing this book. He sheds light on many things, including how our early interactions with love and love relationships can affect our relationships in the future and how we unconsciously repeat the patterns in future relationships. This book reveals how healthy and unhealthy love relationships exist, the causes of broken relationships, and solutions to broken hearts.

The major attraction of Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life was the author's ability to explain each concept carefully. A pitfall of many books that dwell on human relationships like this one is that the author, while well-intentioned, does not break down things, which can be overwhelming for the reader. But Thomas did this by dividing the book into different parts, chapters, and subtopics. Also, most authors back up their claims but not well enough that even a layman understands them. Again, this book avoids that pitfall by laying out all the information clearly and concisely. It made the book fun to read, and I have learned quite a lot. Another great thing about the book is that it is well-researched. The author has excellent experience in the field, and it is evident when you read the book. Anecdotes, research results, and systematic exposition make the book a treasure trove of knowledge. The author's wealth of knowledge is impressive.

The ability of the book to engage readers is another thing I found impressive. It is almost interactive; not only does it teach, but it also gives cues and exercises to the reader to aid understanding. One that was particularly enjoyable was the table the author provided for readers to rate their relationships. That exercise was stimulating. In all, Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life was a great read; it was easy to understand and follow. Though the author uses formal language in his writing style, it still doesn't bridge the understanding of the book. There are also a few errors that are not enough to affect my rating of the book. There was nothing to dislike about this book. Therefore, I give it a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. I recommend it to adults who, at some point in their lives, are broken from unhealthy relationships and need to heal from past trauma and hurt.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a non-fiction book by Dr. Thomas Jordan, that is about love relationships. We all get involved in a love relationship at some point in our lives. The type of relationships one may tend to form is often learned. A healthy relationship will nature love, whereas an unhealthy one will kill it. Family is the primary source of our knowledge on matters concerning love relationships. A good percentage of people may not be aware of their love relationship behavior root cause. This can make one fail to identify the toxic character that they need to unlearn. The author goes ahead to research on love life. He goes ahead and classifies types of unhealthy love relationships. Thomas Jordan points out that most unhealthy behaviors in relationships tend to be repetitive. He uses cheating as an unhealthy behavior that one can repeat, whether in the same relationship or it can run in the family. He doesn't stop at that the author gives the love life formula. He says healthy relationships should be able to nature and sustain love.

Dr. Thomas Jordan, a clinical psychologist, has researched love relationships for more than 30 years. Throughout his career, he has helped his patients to find paths from unhealthy relations to healthy ones. The book has nice tips to thrive and be in control of your love life. Other aspects such as marriage and family have been brought out. Love relationships dictate a big per cent of our lives. It guides us on how we relate to one another. The book highlights the importance of taking the relationships we make in life seriously. In my opinion, everyone is in charge of their relationship and it is their responsibility as a person to manage it. What I like most about the book is the fact that it is well established based on well conducted research. I also appreciate the fact that the author has used the tips on his patients and they have worked.

There is nothing I didn't like about the book. The book is well-edited as it does not have any obvious errors. I rate this book a 4 out of 4 stars, due to the above reasons. The book does not contain profanity, violence, or sexual scenes. The book is good for all ages. I recommend this book to anyone who has had an unhealthy love relationship and would love to mend their love life. Anyone who loves psychology and would love to read more on love psychology, this is for you.

Divya T.

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan was a book about love relationships. In the beginning, the author gives his definition of love and tells what we could take away from this book. He elaborates how our family of origin can affect our psychological love life. The author briefly explains unhealthy relationship experiences such as abandonment, abuse, control, dependency, dishonesty, exploitation, mistrust, neglect, rejection, and self-centeredness. The author tells the readers about conscious and unconscious learning. He also apprises unlearning, learning, and re-learning. He states some unlearning methods which we can practically apply. In the end, he concisely describes healthy relationship experiences. Overall, this book assures that we take control of and own our love life, not living someone else's.

I'd like to appreciate the author for how he explained his own love life experiences along with all the information collected from years and years of analysis. People can gain knowledge about love, healthy and unhealthy relationships regardless of being in love. The author points out some common love life problems associated with the mentioned relationship experiences. The author has also set in some fill-in-the-blanks sections to determine the unhealthy relationship experiences that have affected our love life and what we've learned from them. Besides, the author mentions his online platforms and some of his therapy sessions and briefly explained how it is helpful. I felt like some parts of the book were gender-biased. I could see some lines where the author mentions one particular gender. When the other gender people read those lines, they may not feel connected to the book. It was the only negative thought I had on this book. Otherwise, this book was pretty awesome.

I rate the book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan 4 out of 4 stars. The author's writing was simple and understandable. This book doesn't have profanity or sexual content. I could notice only two errors, so it seemed that the editor had spent their quality time editing this book. I recommend this book for young adults, adults, and older adults. This book would be a good read for people who would like to learn about their love life. This book is a must-read for people who feel hopeless in love or had disappointing relationships in the past. As this book is not much longer, it could be a good start for beginners.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is a non-fiction, self-help book for people who may be experiencing relationship difficulties. Have you been hurt in the past? Have you given up on love and finding a suitable partner? If so, you might find a solution in this book. Drawing on years of research the writer attempts to solve his own relationship problems before he attempts to help the reader solve theirs. He argues that we often have learned unhealthy styles and behaviors related to love and relationships from different people and sources, which just don't work and can lead to repeating the same mistakes and choosing the same types of unhealthy relationships over and again. An example is that a person who had a parent abandon them when they were a child may choose unavailable people (such as married people) and may not be able to fully commit to or trust a partner. A person who was abused may be abusive in relationships or find partners and exhibit behaviors that lead to their own abuse. This can create a negative cycle and the solution, he claims, is to recognize what we have learned and from whom before we can re-learn positive behaviors or go back to our true essence, which should lead to having better, healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

The writer is a clinical psychologist and therapist that writes from his experience and well as research and knowledge. The book is 120 pages in length and is written sometimes in the first person and sometimes the third. What I enjoyed about the book was that it written very clearly and was well organized. It seemed to follow a logical sequence and walked the reader through the method the writer had proposed. I found that this made it stay in my mind and I remembered the points easily. The book is also highly relevant and useful for many people struggling with relationships. It does seem that at the current time there is a lot of anxiety surrounding relationships, such as how not to get hurt and how to find a suitable partner. The writer also helped to get rid of some misconceptions, since many of us think that we should never be hurt and that whoever loves us will never hurt us. He reminds us that we may be hurt unintentionally on a daily basis but our hearts can heal and move on. This I found to be good advice. He also begins by saying that relationships are a risk and there is 50% chance it will work and 50% it will not, but learning how to deal with relationships may increase our chances. I thought this was helpful to provide such advice. The book was also well edited so I did not come across any obvious spelling or grammatical errors. There was no profanity of erotic references.

On the more negative side however, I wondered if we can really always blame ourselves when relationships go wrong. Although it may be true that we may choose incorrectly at times because of what is familiar to us, we may sometimes be very positive and naive and somehow attract a bad relationship because of not really knowing anything rather than having learned incorrectly. In fact, society may be responsible at times for putting forward incorrect ideas about relationships. Therefore, it maybe society as a whole that needs to revise its perceptions of love and relationships. Negative relationships may teach us things however, and often people who have them report in the end finding the relationship that they wanted, often after understanding what they were really looking for and what they were not. These were just some of my personal reflections and viewpoints and don't reflect on the authenticity of the book. Due to the above, I decided to rate the book 4 out of 4 stars.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a captivating book that tries to capture the real depth of our emotions, feelings, and impressions when it concerns our love relationship. Armed with years of professional research and experiments, Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., delivers a once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece that captures the essence of love relationships. Why is love so difficult? What can be learned about love relationships? What can be done and when necessary, should it be done when the learning is unhealthy? The answers to these conflicting questions and even more are what you'll find out if you read this book. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is one of the most educational and enlightening books on love relationships I've had the pleasure of reading so far. With great wisdom, he gives instances and makes solid points with real-life experiences gathered from his years of research and study as a professional therapist and relationship expert. It attempts to give motivation to anyone who plans to improve their love life and relationship. It also acts as an eye-opener to various problems concerning the "love life". 

Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., outdid himself in this incredible read by making use of his experiences to make it relatable. Listing and explaining all the steps he took personally to reshape and develop a healthy love life experience was incredible. With great insight, he dives deep into the psychology of studying the love life inside out and challenges readers to ask themselves honest questions as it affects their love life. As someone who is trying to heal from a hurtful past, I love how far Dr. Jordan goes in another section of this book where he gives step-by-step instructions to anyone interested in making the needed changes in their love life and also where the readers actively participate in the process of unlearning unhealthy love life experiences. This provision makes the book more enjoyable because he connects with the readers on another level by allowing them to actively participate in the whole reform process.

What I love most about this book is how the knowledge was passed across. He expertly highlights and explains solutions to several issues mentioned that are concerned with love life relationships. Another impressive thing about the book is the author's writing style and structure. It was written in easy-to-understand grammar which makes it readable and enjoyable. I only found a few errors in the book, so it does not affect my rating. Therefore, I will rate this book a 4 out of 4 stars. There's nothing I didn't like about the book either. This book is highly recommended for people who are interested in learning and growing positive healthy relationships. 

Daniel Jembi

In a love life relationship, the experience one gets is usually either of these: a healthy love life relationship, or an unhealthy love life relationship. Dr. Thomas Jordan enumerated explicitly the fact that a love life that one experiences growing up is what he or she replicates as an adult in his or her love life relationship. However, one can decide to unlearn all unhealthy relationships unconsciously learned and relearn healthy ones. In this book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, formulas abound that are instrumental in understanding the etymology of love life experiences both positive and negative, or rather healthy and unhealthy love life experiences in a bid to focus on correcting the defective psychological love life.

I love the book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, this is because Jordan was meticulous in dissecting love relationships. Take for instance, not only that his own psychological love life that was mended was used as a case study, but he also took his time to itemize the unhealthy relationships characteristics and their consequences (abandonment, abuse, control, dishonesty, exploitation, and mistrust as against attachment, respect, freedom, independence, honesty, consideration, and trust). The connectivity of the thoughts enunciated was apt, and the effort of the therapeutic analyst mentioned made the whole discussion come to life. It is pertinent to say that I have been using the analysis therein to dissect love relationships around me, and I have started using those thoughts as a therapy for victims of unhealthy love life relationships so that they can unlearn the unhealthy experiences they have internalized unconsciously while growing up and learn healthy experiences in other to sustain the healthy love in their relationships. Another interesting aspect is the index. It guides and directs readers seamlessly to thoughts explained that you want to quickly lay your hand on for reference or some clarification either during reading or after completing the book.

Though the book is a bit concise and easy to understand, it appears to me that some of the thoughts that were expressed are sometimes replicated or repeated, so to speak. The possibility might be that the author deliberately did this as a method to make the points indelible in the minds of the readers. Nonetheless, not too bad. While reading I noticed that a few errors and typos were found, so for the fact that they were very minimal, I will want to rate the book 4 out of 4 stars. Just because of the nature of the topic under discussion, I will recommend that adolescents and adults alike pursuing or hope to pursue love life relationship should read it. Adults that are already in a relationship (courtship) and married couples can also find the book educating.

Neelakshi jain

How many times you have been in a relationship and you just think that it is not right for you. You are struggling in your love relationship, and you feel like you are never going to have that amazing life you want for yourself. In this book, you will know why this is happening to you. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., is a book in which you will find all the answers you need. First of all, for understanding your relationship, you need to know some things. What is a love relationship? Is your love relationship healthy or unhealthy? If it is unhealthy then what kind of unhealthy relationship do you have and what can you do about it? In this book, you will find everything.

Once you know what problems you are facing and why they are occurring? Half of your love relationship problems will go away automatically because now you know what you are doing and why. If they do not go away at that part. The author also told us about how you can fix these problems. He has written about solutions. What you can do to solve these difficulties. This book is divided into three parts with 6 chapters. So, it is a quick read. The author also included his love life story for us to understand more deeply about the concept. His love life story inspired the most in this book. If he can fix it. We can also fix it.

I loved the way the author has given the list of unhealthy relationship traits. He also gave us the list of their opposite behavior. By that list, you will know what kind of behavior you are showing in your love relationship and why it is not healthy. In between, I felt that the concepts are repeating. So, I found it a little annoying. I give Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. 4 out of 4 stars. As it is, it is the best book I have read about relationship psychology. I recommend this book to everyone who is facing difficulties in their love life. Personally, this book changed my love relationship. I hope it will change your love life too.

Vijaya Lakshmi

The book Learn to Love: Guide To Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan Ph.D. Teaches the reader how to improve their love life. The author says he did years of research on various people’s relationships and wrote this book. It has three parts: the unhealthy love life, psychological love life, and unlearning method. Each of them has small chapters in which he explains the things that happen in everyone’s love life and gives a solution for solving the problems that come with the toxic methods. There is also a chapter called treatments for your love life, which might be helpful for you if you want it.

The book captured me from the very beginning, the introduction. It describes the difficulties we face in a way that makes us understand where the fault lies. The first fact laid is about how the people we grew up with impact our love life. While I read it at first, I did not think that was true and postponed reading this for few days. That was when I realized how accurate the first fact is. I considered my love life and realized that was resonant with the piece of information. That point of realization made me read the book again and again. I learned new concepts about love life, and many of them applied to my life.

This is a book written based on years of observation of the love lives of other people. One should read it with patience and care. Initially, I did not understand some concepts. But when I considered them in my life, I could see a clearer picture of that concept better than before. So, if you do not understand the first time, I would suggest you give it another try co-relating with your life, which might help. It helped me immensely and showed me an unambiguous picture of why things happen in a certain way in my love life. I would rate this story a 4 out of 4 stars. The author lays everything unambiguously for everyone to understand. The book is not dragging because it has only a few pages to read. It covers most of the things one needs to learn about love life in the shortest way possible. Don’t lose hope if any of the toxic traits said in the book occur for you in your life. Because after reading it, you know what mistake you have been making so that you could avoid that in the future. I would suggest this book to everyone trying to understand relationships. The author starts with why people are in unhealthy relationships. I thought this was not for people with normal relationships while having minor problems. But as I continued reading, there are things to learn for them also. Whether you are in a healthy relationship or trying to understand how to be in one, you can read this book. 

Authentic Voice

One of the subjects that dominates the mind and heart of both young and old is love. Many questions run in the mind and heart about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Why does my love life keep on failing? Is there hope for a deeply fulfilling love relationship? Dr. Thomas Jordan a New York psychoanalyst gives a deep and detailed look into this subject. His research and findings from his patients over the years have proved that what we learn about love affects how we practice love. However, his journey of treatment by Dr. Benjamin Wolstein seems to have been fruitful in his own life. His weekly psychoanalysis has contributed much to the writing of this guide. He begins from the unknown and walks with the reader to identify the underlying issues. Just the way we learn through unconscious and conscious ways, Jordan is convinced beyond doubt that loves failures and success can come from what is learned over the past and present. The source of multiple disappointment and complete resignation in pursuing love is fully analyzed at every turn in each chapter. It is not just enough to know the problem it is much satisfying to give a remedy. The author takes us through a self-critique method of unlearning unhealthy experiences. With a step-by-step guide, this book is practical in all its form.

I had to personally think through my own love life as I read through the book. I could not stop looking deep within and soul search to see the unhealthy and healthy state of my love relationship. Furthermore, I can clearly say I was in a therapy session with Jordan. This is one of the things I love about this book. It is informative and educational. Second. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointed Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is full of examples from different people. This makes it easy to relate to the author's research and findings. Jordan’s honesty in sharing his troubled love relationship makes the information shared so thrilling. He shows the reader how the steps he suggests have worked out for him. With a picture of him and his parents the readers can have an image of how his parents affected his love life. I identify how the aftereffects of my previous unhealthy love relationship have affected my current love life.

The author’s conclusion is one of motivation. He seemingly gives a thrust to his readers to take control of their love life. This is not easy. One cannot estimate how long it will take to finally say they are in control of the ‘psychological love life’. However, the writer leaves the reader with a desire to make baby steps and even find help through his seminars and webinars. I enjoyed the “love relationship class” in this book, though I have very little inclination towards psychology. With all considerations, I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. The book is exceptionally edited. I recommend this book to those married and those looking forward to marriage. Both young and old can draw life lessons from this book.

Amna Khalid

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is written by Dr. Thomas Jordan. It is an informative guidebook for all the readers who experience negativity and tragedy during any of their relationships. As life proceeds, people learn different things about love. Moreover, their learning motivates them to encounter similar situations. It is universal that people repeat the same mistakes related to their love life, indicating that people need to refine their knowledge. Also, it is observable that mistakes are traveling from generation to generation. The author has divided the book into three parts. The following three parts focus on providing insight about a healthy and unhealthy relationship, psychological characteristics of love life, how to put an end to repeating the disappointments of love and how to unlearn the knowledge about an unhealthy relationship. The author is a well-known clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst. He explained concepts with the help of his clinical researches, personal experiences, and examples of his patients’ love life. For instance, in chapter 1, he gave examples from his clinical work about abandonment, abuse, control, reliance, betrayal, and rejection. He put years of his efforts into this area, conducting researches, and finally came up with an end product; this book.

The author has attempted an impressive job in delivering the lessons and advising the readers. Moreover, the book is exceptionally well-edited. As I’m a graduate of psychology, this book has been a good choice for me. I like how the author adopted a practical approach to spread his words. The aspect of his writing that I like the most was the use of his clinical researches, personal experiences, and examples from his patients’ love life. I like how the author delivered his message and want the readers to learn something from it. For instance, in chapter 4, he provided questions and statements for the readers to think about their love relationships and write their own experiences accordingly. He followed a gradual approach to explain the unlearning method for those readers who are interested in bringing out a change in their love life on their own. The only aspect of this book that I disliked is the author’s method of writing. He wrote lengthy phrases because of which I had to read the entire sentence again and again. At some point, it became irritating for me.

I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars since the author did great work by compiling all his years of effort in 124 pages. I give this rating because his collected data for clinical researches and examples from his patients’ love life fascinated me and kept my interest till the end of the book. Also, as a graduate of psychology, I was able to understand those clinical researches and concepts related to psychology. I didn’t rate it 3 stars because the book is perfectly edited, and observing the author’s hard work didn’t let me rate it lower. Firstly, I would recommend this book to all those readers who have learned unhealthy methods of love and currently experiencing difficulty in moving towards the right path. Secondly, those who have studied psychology will enjoy reading about his researches. Lastly, I would recommend this to readers who are experiencing the best love life to refine their knowledge about healthy love relationships for life ahead.

Raida tahsin

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a nonfiction book written by Thomas Jordan. This is a self-help book concerning love and relationships. In this book, the author attempted to identify potential problems in people's love lives and provide some possible solutions. The author discussed how we have so many problems in our love lives in this book. He also attempted to elaborate and demonstrated a variety of perspectives. Then he decided to offer some potential alternatives and explained them. As a result, it is a very helpful book for people who are experiencing difficulties in their love lives and are frustrated as a result. Because we all have our very own love lives, this book act as a reference for so many.

There were numerous aspects of this book that I enjoyed. The book's writing style appealed to me. It was well-written and well-edited. It wasn't filled with heavily loaded words, but instead with nice ones. So, I didn't have to carry a dictionary. I also liked how the chapters were organized. He started by explaining the problems, and then he provided everyone some solutions. After finishing the book, I came to the realization that the author did a lot of research for it. He also made extensive use of scientific explanations. This has helped to make the book more understandable and credible. I also liked how he shared his own love life experiences. His issues, how he overcame them, and his subsequent successful marriage life. This added to the book's worth.

I also didn't notice any obvious errors. So, there isn't anything I disliked about this book. This book was extremely beneficial to me. I rate this book four out of four stars. If I had to sum it up in a single word, this book was incredible. I believe the book fulfilled its original purpose. I learned a great deal from this book that I believe I will be able to apply in my romantic relationships. So this is a book for people who are having problems in their love lives or are simply confused and don't know what to do about it. It's also a guideline for people who are ready to get closely involved in a love life relationship but need a few pointers. There were no R-rated scenes, profanity, or noticeable errors, in my opinion. As a result, I can confidently recommend this book to anyone. This is a good book to read.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointed Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is a non-fiction book not about love but love relationships. It is a self-help book that covers reasons for an unhealthy relationship. It helps you discard what’s unhealthy so that you can start taking pleasure and delight in your relationship. The book does not have many pages, but it has three parts. Part one is "Unhealthy Love Life," the author defines unhealthy love and how it affects our relationship. Learning how to relate to love is determined by what we understand from healthy or unhealthy love relationships. Part two, "Psychological Love Life," generally covers that if you need to change in your love life, you will need to change your psychological love life. It was informative and helpful. It covered the ten most common unhealthy relationship experiences. Part three is the "Unlearning Method." It is just getting rid of the unhealthy love relationship lessons that you had learned earlier.

Whenever I am involved in a discussion about love and relationships, we assume that love is a great desire of the mind and heart. This book will change your mind and perspective on love. The book's content can be trusted and emulated because the author is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst. The book also seems to be well researched, and he also included his events and experiences of love. What it's even fascinating is that he has thirty years of experience in treating and researching unhealthy love lives.
I also liked that the author chose to engage his readers. He included simple instructions to help you change your love life by yourself. The questions involved will be of great help. The book is stimulating and interactive.

I admired Leo Buscaglia's persistence to start a class about love at the University of California at Berkeley. It was after the tragic loss of a student that killed herself due to a love life problem. He taught the class for four years. He also did further research and wrote books during this period. This professor of education was the one that inspired the author.
There was nothing I disliked about this book. Therefore, I am rating it 4 out of 4 stars. It is easily understood and not at all confusing. I would recommend this book to all kinds of readers, especially people like church leaders and school counselors. The book might help them guide adults, youths, and everybody else on healthy relationships.

Austin Okumu

In the text “Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life” by Dr. Thomas Jordan, the author wants us to understand, love and life begin right when we are born. However, our life experiences have a great impact on our future. One piece of evidence is in a love relationship, dependent people though needy, are experienced. Exposure to exploitation in early life is a result of common love life problems. To add on, even harder, it`s not easy to tell whether what you`re going through in life is unhealthy or just repetition. How one learns to relate in a love relationship is a product of how we were taught either negative or positive about love and life. Another connecting phrase is the number of relationships we have in our lives which can be estimated right from childbirth. But when a person is abandoned, the experience naturally re-occurs as a consequence of a relationship. Another is, if we wish to have someone`s approval in a relationship it could be a burden. How we relate messages told to us matters a lot since it can create emotional and physical pain. Finally, love is very difficult to understand depending on our health and success which is determined by what we're being taught about love relationships. Throughout our lives, we will be learning. Early life love experience could cause chronic illness if one doesn`t find himself or herself and overcome the difficulties that love and relationship bring.

I truly admire the example Dr. Thomas Jordan had in place under the sub-topic “Repeating Love Life Problem” and “Replicating Unhealthy Relationship Experience.” At this moment in time, at least without undergoing a psychological process, I can be able to understand what my neighbors are going through. I found nothing bad in this self-help book. The possibility of changing one’s behavior relies on an individual perspective. Having a distance relationship can anticipate the effect of too much intimacy. I might consider putting this to practice. Departure can be easy to predict when distancing in a relationship.

The language use is easy to understand and narrations have also been put in place for better understanding. With zero errors I rate Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life 4 out of 4 stars. Poor exposure to an unhealthy relationship is a result of unhealthy learning. I recommend Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life to someone who would wish to understand why their life is the way it is, not changing no matter how hard they keep trying.

Loranne Cachia

Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., brings forward an informative and inquisitive study into the psychology of relationships and love lives, in his Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. Characterized by 30 years of psychoanalysis as a practicing clinical psychologist he brings forward his learnings and evidence in this superb insightful book about human love relationships from the moment of birth. Divided into three parts, it starts describing what may be the ‘unhealthy relationship experiences’ one unconsciously learns throughout his growing up years, to projecting these problematic attributions into the ‘love life relationships’ in the future search of love. Part two, continues as identifying these unhealthy experiences, becoming aware of them and ultimately the ability to challenge these traits, thus providing the opportunity to change and start the healing process. Part three deals with the ‘unlearning method’, where it guides you on how to unlearn the unhealthy experiences, learn and re-learn into bettering oneself, to search for the healthy love relationship, most true, and benefitting to oneself and one’s partner.

As from the moment of birth, a person becomes subjected to the people that surround him or her, that is the family and its environment, the attitudes, emotions, and feelings. These concepts take form in the understanding that these negative attitudes are normal and assumes that relationships are meant to be that way. We continue to search for the same negative traits in a love partner, and bring these same traits into the relationship, because the person unconsciously learned them, in the family environment he or she grew up in. This study identifies the most common unhealthy relationship experiences, expands the understanding of them, and explores the healing process for each, to provide the reader with the opposite remedy, the ‘healthy love relationship experience’. A self-search experience, that suggests that the change must start from the self, up to the point where the love relationship becomes a unique personal experience, which must only be defined and strived for in a healthy developing environment. In simplified words, the feelings, and emotions once experienced, if unhealthy and identified, are to be unlearned and substituted by positive learned experiences.

I absolutely find no negative traits in this superb work. It is described in the simplest method possible for one to understand, and the necessary tools for self-scrutiny. This non-fiction book is suitable for youths, young adults, and mature audience. The after-effect I experienced while reading it, was a reminder of my own personal experiences that I went through, and how true the insights mentioned were. It took me more than 40 years to realize what changes I needed to work upon were, and when I truly learned how to address them and re-learn myself, that was the moment I found my most fulfilling love life and relationship. Had I this study and insight in my earlier years, I would have had the most precious food for thought that might have saved me from prolonged painful experiences. The rating is a bold 4 stars out of 4 stars, the book is very well professionally edited, with very few orthographic mistakes, and nicely presented to the reader to understand until the very end. Hats off to Dr. Thomas Jordan and his wife!


We all know what is like to fall in and out of love. We have all experienced being on cloud nine or having butterflies in our stomach when thinking of the person we are in love with. Naturally, we have also passed through agonizing breakups or even traumatizing divorces. What if there were a book that helped us understand the reasons behind failure and disappointment in our love life? Thomas Jordan’s Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life answers the need to improve our chances of finding and sustaining a healthy love relationship. As a consequence, it turns into what the author calls “a 21st century love relationship class.” At 132 pages, the book was an easy read excelling in clarity and organization. The product of Dr. Jordan’s thirty-year experience of researching and treating chronic love life problems, Learn to Love expertly guides its readers through the sinuous meanders of past, present, and future love relationships. After years of helping patients with psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, the author realized that the most important lesson he could teach us is to closely examine our past love relationships so that we could have healthy ones in the future. Accordingly, the book is perfectly designed to follow such a trajectory. It consists of three main parts: I – “The Unhealthy Love Life”; II – “Psychological Love Life”; III – “Unlearning Method”.

Despite being a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology and a faculty member of a post-doctoral program, Thomas Jordan explains his ideas so simply and clearly that everybody could grasp the meaning of his reasoning. This is perhaps the thing I liked most about the book. While chapter one (“My Love Life Research”) details on different types of unhealthy love life and the danger of replicating past experience, chapter two (“Learning about Love Relationships”) refers to a most useful Love Life Formula and the inner mechanism of unconscious learning about love relationships. As they are both full of examples, I am sure different readers will probably resonate with one situation or another. Dr. Jordan considers that our psychological love life represents the “blueprint” in our mind of what we have learned about love relationships that shapes the love life experiences we have going forward. In part II, he identifies a list of ten unhealthy relationship experiences ranging from abandonment and abuse to rejection and self-centeredness. There is a particular sub-chapter focusing on the aftereffects of what we have experienced that I highly recommend. You will see it is enlightening when it comes to our reactions to previous “toxic” relationships. Just think of the times when you tried to change partners instead of yourself or the way you became defensive precisely to hide your vulnerability.

Not accidentally, part 3 is the most extensive of the book as it is more practically oriented. In order to assist readers in changing their psychological love life, the author gives them a three-step unlearning formula that promises an “antidote” for unhealthy relationship experiences that negatively affected their love life. With courage and honesty, Dr. Jordan dedicates an entire chapter to his own psychological love life and his troubled relationship with his mother. Taking himself as a case study was definitely a bold action. I can tell you I got genuinely engrossed into the pages describing “parentification”, the transformation of a child into a parent with a parent. Apart from a few misplaced commas, apostrophes, or articles, the book is very well-edited. Since I have enjoyed its interesting topics and clear layout, I am giving Thomas Jordan’s guide 4 out of 4 stars. Some readers might find the repetitiveness of certain ideas a bit tedious, but I think this strategy was useful in delivering the right message. In terms of content, organization, and editing, there was nothing I disliked about this book. Moreover, I am recommending it to all those interested in educating and improving their love life. No matter if you are single or in a couple, the book offers a great opportunity to analyze your love relationships “inside-out” and to remove the barriers holding you from taking control of your love life and being happy with your partner.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is an interesting book from Dr. Thomas Jordan. He extensively shared from his wealth of love experience. He stated clearly that grief evolves when love is absent. He was able to discover the vicious cycle of unhealthy love relationship. He explained that such event repeats and replicates itself; hence, it must be discontinued to enjoy a satisfying love life. The book is divided into three parts to address the unhealthy love life, the psychological love life and the unlearning method. He applied these three parts to his personal love life, and this has been the secret of his enviable love life. This book serves as a guide to healing one’s disappointing love life.

One of the positive aspects of this book is that it encourages a healthy love relationship. Love is what is inherent in a man whereas a relationship can be improved upon. Relationships can be learnt about. The love life formula explains, apart from getting involved in a relationship, the means of learning, either by observation or by instruction.

More so, maintaining a healthy love relation will require that we identify the source of our psychological love life, we challenge its negative aspect and we replace every unhealthy psychological love life with the healthy ones, that is, consciously practicing a healthy opposite relationship experience. In other words, we unlearn what we have learnt and re-learn a healthy psychological love life. More importantly, we should not try to change other people; rather, we should change ourselves first. When we change ourselves, others will soon imbibe a healthy love relationship due to the change they see in us. As much as it is possible, we should endeavor to remove every barrier that may want to hinder us from learning the unlearning method. The choice is ours to make if we will embrace a healthy love relationship or not.

This book was well written with some practical steps to take if we will embrace a healthy love relationship. In fact, I did not observe any negative aspect in it. I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars because it was professionally written. I recommend this book to those who need to heal from a disappointing love life. Reading this book will give them hope. If such people can practice the contents of this book, they will soon enjoy a healthy love life.


Being in a love relationship is a beautiful thing when it is with the right person and at the right time. It can also be a very horrible thought after a breakup. At some point in time, we are confused about issues concerning our love life, and we wish to know how best to go about it. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is your wish come true. It is a self-help book that acts as a guide or manual on how to heal from a failed relationship and experience a healthier relationship. It is not a book about love, but a book about love relationships. According to the author, it is “a 21st-century love relationship class.” Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a quick read with only 107 pages and a total of 6 chapters. The book is divided into three parts, which makes it easy to assimilate. The first part is titled “The Unhealthy Love Life,” the second part is titled “Psychological Love Life,” and the last part is “Unlearning Method.”

In the book, Dr. Thomas Jordan explains the series of activities that would lead to experiencing a successful love life. It starts with the relationships we have with our parents as children, whether it is a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship. As a result, we experience unconscious emotional learning from the relationship we have with our parents while growing up, and we replicate what we learned from our previous relationships to our present relationship. If we encountered an unhealthy relationship while growing up, then we must unlearn what we have learned from the unhealthy relationship and practice the opposite of it. Some common unhealthy relationship traits, which the author explained, are dishonesty, exploitation, abuse, neglect, control, self-centeredness, abandonment, etc.
I enjoyed the author’s tone in the book. There’s a lot of useful information in this book regarding relationships. I also liked the fact that he used his relationship with his mother as a case study in explaining most points, which made the book feel more authentic. I personally think his guide in achieving a healthy love life works because he was able to fix his relationship with his mother, and he has been researching and treating unhealthy love lives for over 30 years. There’s nothing to dislike about this book, as it is also written in easy to understand English.

I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. I have given a full rating because the book was professionally edited, and the author justified the title of the book by providing a step-wise approach to assist us in healing from an unsatisfactory love life. The book is also free from profanity and sexual content. I recommend this book to people who are hoping to experience a better love life, love therapists, and marriage counselors.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life was written by psychologist Dr. Thomas Jordan on a first-person narrative basis. It is a self-help book to assist people to perhaps increase their chances of having healthy and long-lasting relationships. It is organized into three parts which consist of six chapters. Each chapter has different subtopics that are well organized to bring out the concept of the chapter. Part I, The Unhealthy Love Life, talks about the different types of love life, how love life problems can constantly repeat, and replication of unhealthy relationship experiences. It also enlightens how we unconsciously learn about love relationships among other things. Part II focuses on psychological love life. It talks and gives great detail about unhealthy relationship experiences and the aftereffects. Part III is the Unlearning Method. It enlightens how changing your psychological love life could avoid some unnecessary love life problems. It eventually provides treatment for some love life problems.

It is not so often that you come across a book that addresses love life problems. At times these are taken so lightly but I believe an unhealthy love life can result in an unhealthy psychological life. The book was so organized with vocabulary that was not too heavy. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is one book I wish I had the opportunity of reading sooner in my life. I loved how the author addresses the issue whereby people tend to be defensive to avoid being vulnerable. I find it sad how the vulnerability is now seen as a sign of weakness because I believe it is what makes us more human. Most often after we have been hurt, we build walls around ourselves to avoid experiencing more pain. The author explains how defensiveness when it comes to love has its limitations and disadvantages. The discussion on how our past love life problems tend to repeat or catch up with our present hit me on a personal level. Part III, Unlearning Method, was my favorite. It is a thorough guide on how to identify the core of our love life problems before we start solving them only on the surface. It also helps identify our bad traits which, unknowingly or not, we allow to become a permanent part of our behavior. I think it is safe to say these traits usually become the reasons why we have certain repetitive love life problems. The conclusion was a few pages of insightful words. This is mostly because the author took into consideration the fact that a lot has changed over the centuries. Because of this, he talked about the twenty-first century “Love Relationship Class”. The use of an index helped make the book an easier read and helped me understand some of the concepts faster. The author included references, also very considerate to those who might want to further their understanding of love life problems.

The book was professionally edited. I did not come across any typographical or grammatical errors. I felt the author did proper clinical research and did not just write about his own experiences in which case I believe the contents of the book would have been biased. However, Dr. Thomas Jordan made use of long sentences at times, and these made some of the concepts difficult to grasp in a single read. This being my only dislike and a very minor one, I still rate the book 4 out of 4 stars. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life contains absolutely no profanity, therefore making it suitable for all age groups old enough to understand what a relationship is. I recommend it to those new to love. They can get an insight into some of the experiences to expect in the course of their love life and perhaps help them make smarter choices to avoid being in unhealthy relationships. I also recommend it to people suffering from chronic and non-chronic love life problems. It could help them figure out what aspects of their life they need to improve. I believe it is the proper guide to healing.

Saerah Junes

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is all about working out ways to take control of your own love life. The book establishes how our experiences and previous relationships unconsciously govern our journey of finding a love relationship. It states how what we derive from our past can lead to a healthy or unhealthy relationship in the present. An ideal self-help book should be easy to read and refer to. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., serves its purpose well. It is a beautiful read that takes a simple but calculated approach to identification and resolution. Jordan talks about the step-by-step solution and makes it even better by putting his personal experiences down on paper. The book is quite relatable, and I could even picture myself in the situations described.

The book is filled with observations and experiences. It is supported by psychological research and examples from the author's patients during his practice as a psychologist and psychoanalyst. The content is divided into three parts, and each part has several chapters. Different parts discuss ways of identifying unhealthy relationships, talk about psychological love life and give ideas about unlearning and relearning experiences accordingly. The book also talks about the story of its motivation from "Love Class" by Dr. Leo Buscaglia, which I found very touching. I like how the book calls for active reading. It isn't just narration. It asks you questions and makes you think and reflect on yourself. Why is love so difficult? What have you learned about love relationships? How do you relate to love? How were you taught about love? You take the questions and seek an answer in what you know and what the author tells you.

As someone who believes that there is no rulebook to love, I found the title a bit confusing. I picked the book with a little bit of skepticism and for the sake of arguments. You simply cannot "learn" to love, and thankfully the author agrees. He puts forward in the very beginning that this book is not about creating a recipe to love but helping build healthy love relationships. Love is beyond the scope of learning, it is not learned, and it is unpredictable. The book and its supporting research are about looking at your recipe of life experiences, finding the problem, making adjustments, and improving your chances of a healthy love relationship. The key takeaway for me was that most of our learning about love and relationships is unconscious, and if you don't understand and control your learnings, they will and not always for good. And teaching the way of control is what this book does for you. I rate this book a 3 out of 4 stars. I definitely enjoyed reading the book, and I recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn about positive relationships and build healthy relationships. It is also a must-read for teens and young adults like me, who in the current age of the internet get into unhealthy relationships far more often.


Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs outlines love as an essential need for human beings. However, a lot of people are finding it difficult to find and sustain a healthy love life relationship. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is a thought-provoking and beautifully written self-help book that offers insight on how to find and sustain a healthy love life. In the opening pages of this delightful book, the author gives the meaning of the word love. He distinguishes between healthy and unhealthy love relationships based on his research on love affairs. He identifies some characteristics and effects of unhealthy love relationships. Disappointments and love life resignation are some common effects of an unhealthy love relationship. Also, Dr. Jordan provides ways of overcoming toxic and unhealthy love relationships. Throughout his career, he has helped a lot of people heal from the effects of unhealthy relationships. As a psychologist, he gives detailed information on how to work on our psychological love life to improve our love life relationships.

I enjoyed reading this book. It was amazing and informative. The aspect of the author using his own life experiences to explain the content is what I liked most. The book’s cover page is appealing and could easily capture my interest. Also, the author did a superb job in clarifying his findings in the book. He used a straightforward language in writing the book, making it easy to comprehend it. It is split into three areas: The Unhealthy Love Life, Psychological Love Life, and the Unlearning Method, respectively. There is nothing disgusting about this fascinating book. It’s informative and can be used to transform the lives of those affected by unhealthy love life relationships. I rate this wonderful book 4 out of 4 stars. It was exceptionally edited, as I couldn't find any grammatical errors in it. Its cover page was well-selected to suit the title. The other reason for giving it a full rating is because of its informative nature and the amusing writing skills of the author.

I would recommend this fantastic book to those interested in love affairs. It will instruct them on how to start and maintain healthy romantic relationships. Furthermore, I would recommend it to those who have been disappointed because of an unhealthy love relationship. It will enable them to heal from the effects of their previous unhealthy love relationships.


A person's love life is not only what is visible in terms of the people he has loved and loves. It is also what is inside of him that shapes and determines the kind of relationships he will form. The book Learn to Love by Dr. Thomas Jordan is an effort to fill in the glaring gap concerning the emotion of love, how the relationships we form are as a result of the things we've learned and experienced with other people, and whether or not the relationships we form are healthy enough to nurture and sustain the love we feel when we fall in love.

The author is a skilled psychologist and psychoanalyst. He also has had a lot of experiences with different couples, the book is drawn not just from the depth of his wisdom and research but also from his interactions and experiences with different couples. The book exposes a lot of facts about relationships and issues that couples face without knowing. It also offers solutions and applicable steps on how to solve those problems and build a stable and healthy love relationship. I must commend the author's sacrifice in researching the facts he included in the book. It is clear that the information in these pages of this book was collected from his years of clinical research, and experience with different patients. Also, the quotes from renowned authors and references to other books is further proof that the author put in a lot of effort in compiling this book. And hence those efforts should be applauded.

What I love most about the book is the fact that he shared his personal experiences with his family and the different partners that he has had relationships with. The author dedicated an entire chapter to citing examples from his own personal life, the challenges he faced in his love relationship and how he overcame them. It made it easy for me to see the points he was trying to make in the book and relate them to my personal life. According to him, "I figured the best way to give my readers a clear and understandable example of how our Unlearning Method can transform a love life is to use my own love life as an illustration." There's absolutely nothing that I dislike about the book. It is a great book and was professionally edited. I only found one error in the whole book. I'd give it a four out of four stars. It is a guide for love relationships, and a must read for everyone; for those that are married, in a dating relationship and single people.


Struggling to form long-lasting connections? Have trouble trusting your romantic partner? Find yourself repeating the same mistakes in a relationship? This book can help solve these problems. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan teaches readers to build a sustainable relationship with their significant other by using proven methods from the author's experience as a psychologist. There are three parts to this book. The first part is exploring the characteristics of an unhealthy love life; the second part is shedding light on the root cause of the issue, and the third part educates readers on how to overcome the problem. The main objective of this book is to spread awareness of the unconscious and unintentional ways certain individuals end up sabotaging their love lives, and what needs to be done to stop it from repeating. The book goes into detail of the ten most common unhealthy relationship experiences as well as ten alternative actions to improve one’s romantic life.

The main positive aspect of this book is its readability. Even with all the information and long paragraphs, it is structured in a way that is fun to read and easy to grasp. The large headlines before the paragraphs help the readers to gain a better understanding of what the author is talking about, which makes it easier to retain information. To add onto this readability, the book is professionally edited with no noticeable grammar or spelling errors throughout the chapters. It also contains references from credible studies and real-life examples that the author has encountered in his profession. Additionally, the flow of the book is smooth as there are no parts that I felt like skipping over. Each chapter has a gripping promise with the appropriate amount of build-up and a straightforward revelation to ensure that the readers are not left hanging. Every page serves a purpose, and the length of the book is on a perfect balance of being concise enough to pick it up at any time as well as being in depth enough to learn something new. I also appreciate the author’s willingness to be transparent by sharing his personal story and experience with finding love at the end of the book. It truly gives an insight on how realizing toxic patterns can change behaviors into something positive.

A minor negative I would comment on is the outdated citations and references. Most of the references range from the mid-1900s, with the only exception being a study from 2012. I understand that it may be challenging to find credible sources regarding this topic, especially when the book itself is based on the author’s own study, instead of echoing previous researchers’ findings. Due to this, I would not deem this issue as a glaring flaw in the book as the quality of research poured into this book makes up for it. With all these things considered, I would rate this book a 4 out of 4 stars. The reason is because the book delivers on its promises and has completely reshaped my view on romantic relationships. This has helped me realize the toxic replications and repetitions within my previous relationships and has motivated me to make a change. I highly recommend this book to adults who have had bad experiences with love or those who feel unsatisfied with their love lives and are looking for ways to improve.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan Ph.D is a book that centers on how to find and sustain a healthy love relationship. Human beings by nature have the need and duty of receiving and giving love and we carry this out in our daily lives both consciously and unconsciously. Love life is difficult to manage, building and maintaining a healthy love relationship is also difficult and this book will teach one something about love which will help to increase one's chances of finding and maintaining a healthy love relationship. The book contains information on the role of beliefs, behaviors and feeling in our love life and how they can either make or mar them. Are you having an unstable love life and relationship? Is your love life dead and you feel the need to bring it back to life? Do you want to strengthen your love life for a better result? If you provided an answer to these questions then Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a book that will provide answers to your questions.

What I liked most about the book were the stories that the author told about himself. He used himself as a case study as he highlighted his love life, his source of inspiration, the aftereffects of these teachings on him. He used his story to teach so that others might see his mistakes and their effects on his love life. I really commend the author for such acts of bravery and courage. One other thing I liked was the index at the back to the book. It helped me to understand some words which were used in the book without dropping the book to get a dictionary. I don't like books that will keep me constantly glued to the dictionary and I was really happy that this book was not like that.

The language of this book was simple and straight to the point as I did not encounter any difficulties in understanding what the author was talking about and this adds up to the books advantage. My best part of the book was the part where he talked about relationship experience. He gave a full list of reasons why a person's love life can be affected based on his past experience with people especially those who were close enough to impact the person. He discussed how an unhealthy love relationship can change a person's view of love entirely. An example is that the love views of a person who has always been loved and appreciated would be different from that of a person who had always been hated and abused. It made me realize that my attitude in my day-to-day interaction with people really affected their belief and feeling so I must make efforts to be positive in any my dealings with people. There was nothing I dislike about the book. It was very brief, straight to the point, filled with insights and knowledge. If I am to give this book a caption, I would say that it a book for the whole family. I give it 4 stars out of 4 stars because it addressed the issues surrounding family and societal relationship in an interesting way. I recommend it to anyone struggling to build a strong love relationship and those who are planning to build their own love relationship from the scratch.

Starilanka Glowy

A healthy relationship nurtures love while an unhealthy one stifles it. According to Dr. Thomas Jordan, one's love is greatly determined by what they've learnt about love relationships in their lives. He defines love life as any and all relationships involving the emotion of love whether past or present. Knowingly or unknowingly, we tend to learn and develop unhealthy habits and strategies in love relationships. Did you know that these unhealthy habits are just learned and can be unlearned or relearned? Wait a minute. How does that work? Get yourself a copy of this book and find out more. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-help book that talks about how we learn and develop unhealthy love relationships. It also points out where we learn them from. Most importantly, Dr. Jordan shows us how possible it is to unlearn them and take control of our own love lives. The author's source of information was his research, inspired by Dr. Leo Buscaglia and Marco Grassi, as well as real-life experiences. That's right. He has personally applied these strategies in his life which enhances the credibility of everything written down in this book.

I loved the fact that the book was practical. I've witnessed some of the issues addressed by the author and experienced others. Furthermore, he explained how they might have come about and also provided some reliable long-term solutions. I enjoyed reading about changing people and changing yourself. " It's impossible to change someone. People change themselves, anything else is not real change." Amazed at how true this analysis is, it is highly relatable. However, I noticed continuous repetition of facts and formulas that had already been explained clearly. My reading wasn't really disrupted by this, but I must say that it was almost a turnoff. The style used to deliver the message was precise with a simple language that is very comprehensible. The book was professionally edited since I came across a couple of errors.

I rate the book 4 out of 4 because it provides a practical step-by-step method of dealing with unhealthy relationships. I recommend it to teenagers and adults interested in building healthy relationships or correcting the existing unhealthy traits. There is no instance of profanity or sensual scenes. Needless to say, people of all religions will enjoy and learn from the book.

Natalie Ohineba

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan was a very interesting book. The content was all about how and why our love lives are not good. Thomas goes on to explain from the core, he digs all this from the beginning, which is what I love. I could say I learned a lot when it comes to my personal love life. Some questions I had about love were answered. What I love about the book is the fact that I got my answers as to why my relationships go the way I did not look forward to. He goes on to explain that sometimes it's not our relationships or the partner we are with, but it may be the past. It may be how we view love or the way our parents raised us. I learned that I should look at myself in the mirror and try to find out what I can change about myself, sometimes I may be the problem and not realize it. He also explained the reason why people fall in love with wrong people. There is a lot I took from the book! I love the fact that the title matches the content, and this was really a guide. Furthermore, there is nothing I hate about the book. I think Thomas explained everything the readers would like to know. He was honest in everything he said in the book, and he didn't sugar coat anything. The book was edited, and I didn't see any sign of error or anything out of the ordinary.

I will rate the book 4 out of 4 for its unique touch. I think the rating is fair because Thomas had valid points and I feel I could recommend the book to someone else. The book was truly a self-help book. I think I know what I didn't know before, thanks to Thomas. The content was also thoroughly edited and this is why this rating will be good. These days, young people are falling in love. There is a lot that starts from a young age! So, I would like to recommend this book to teenagers going to much older people. I think people will need this book because we all need to know the core of our relationships not working out. We have people depressed because of love, people who go through things you could never imagine, that is why I think this book will be helpful.

Keith Mbuya

Love is a delicate yet very common phenomenon, it is almost a controversial subject to some. Love has been the cause of some of the most gruesome suicide and homicide cases. While other people find it easy to experience true love, others have tried looking and searching for the same but to no avail. While it has caused so much agony to others, it has been a reason for some to say they are genuinely happy. So many people have tried to perceive love, embrace it and perhaps experience it, but its dynamic nature has proved to be way beyond the grasp of their knowledge. It is very interesting how love affects human beings psychologically, mentally, spiritually and physically to some extent. With a different approach from other authors who have written books about love, Dr. Thomas Jordan tries to explain and educate about love relationships in his book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life.

The style of writing Dr. Thomas Jordan employs in his book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is great. He uses fairly long sentences that are easy to comprehend coupled with very appropriate vocabularies especially in the enlightenment of the whole subject about love. Dr. Thomas Jordan’s approach is brilliant, he writes in a manner that constantly sends the reader into deep thought rather than just solely reading. This is an ingenious way of keeping the reader engaged and attentive to the content he is delivering. He even has some parts where he subjects the reader to fill in some blank spaces just to check a few things about his or her love relationship. He clearly does a great job in making the reader as involved as possible in reading his book. Dr. Thomas Jordan's approach on the subject of love, or to be precise love relationships is quite unique. He believes that you are not born with the type of relationship you form in love, it is learned consciously or not, and it's usually unconsciously learned. And this means you often don't know consciously what you have learned about love relationships. He goes ahead to define love life as "any and all interpersonal relationships involving the emotion of love, past and present". This then poses the question, what have you learned about your love life so far? Most of as will answer this question referring exclusively to their relationships with the people they have interacted with romantically. The fact that Dr. Thomas Jordan refers to " all " relationships means you will have to also assess your love life with your family members and see what you have learned from the relationships. You will be surprised at how accurate he is about this.

The book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is divided into three parts. In part one, Dr. Thomas Jordan talks about unhealthy relationships. He addresses this as the problem. For someone who has had an unhealthy relationship but with the unconscious way of learning about this, fails to realize, then he or she will definitely carry the same traits of the unhealthy relationship to his or her next relationship unconsciously. This can be very stressful because as it is, the affected person has no idea about this. Dr. Thomas Jordan strives to strengthen your consciousness and educate you on how we learn about love relationships and how this affects us. In part two, he talks about psychological love life. He connects this to part one, showing how what you learn about your love relationships can affect you psychologically. In part three he talks about the unlearning method you should probably get yourself the book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life to know more. I love how Dr. Thomas Jordan gives his experiences in the book to make his point or explain his point. As much as I enjoyed reading the book, I found that he repeated some of the points he had already addressed before later on in the book, this made me lose interest to read on. Reading through the same content you have read may not be that hard, but the fact that this is a non-fiction book and it carries a "down to business" tone does not make it any easy to reread already read content. Because of this I rate the book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life 3 out of 4 stars. I did not find any errors in the book. It was exceptionally edited. People who have trouble with their love relationships, those who want to improve their relationships and those who love non-fiction books will find this an interesting choice.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a nonfiction book that is concerned with our love life and our love relationship. It talks about the relationship we form when we are in love and how we form them. Thomas Jordan tries to support the fact that whatever we learn from love relationship in our lives determines the health and success of our love life. He seeks to draw attention to the types of love life hurts, love life formula, how to relate in love, the most common unhealthy relationship experience, the healthy relationship experience that applies to our lives and finally the treatment for our love life, how we can change the negative thoughts we have about love and build the positive once. He furthermore explains how we can take control of our love life by finding out what we have learned about this love relationship from the love experience we have gone through. Actually, everyone deserves a chance to love and it's only the efforts that we put in that love that will determine the kind of love life we will attract and live. The author encourages people to take control of their own love life and not to allow other people to do so for them. When will human beings practice to control their own love life? What do we mean by the term love? What do we understand by the term love life? Have you ever Struggled with unhealthy love life? Have you ever been to a relationship that seems unpromising? Read this book to find answers to this question and be encouraged in life.

The message of the book was clear, without understanding our love life people will lose hope in love and without taking control of it, things can become even more worse. I really like this book. This was my first time reading it and it never gets worse. The whole book is action packed up with Thomas Jordan leading most of this action. Once you get to the last 129 pages or so, you will not want to put the book down because there is so much action and a lot of trilling moments. I did not find any error and hence the book was exceptionally well edited.

I disliked nothing about this book, the book definitely held my interest, there was no slow part and hence was very thought provoking and engrossing hence I gladly give it a rate of 4 out of 4 stars. I would recommend it to almost every one especially those people who have found themselves falling in the wrong relationship and those who want to fall in love. They should read it before falling in love. I think anyone can enjoy and importantly learn from it.

Oyeleye Oyedeji

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing your Disappointed Love Life by Thomas Jordan, PhD is an exploration of the core issues that affect love relationships. The book did not delve into what “Love” is but what makes keeping a healthy love relationship hard. Thomas Jordan, PhD laid down some background explanations to help the reader grasp the concept of love relationship which is the focus of the book. The book gives frustrated persons hope and practical solutions to having an unhealthy love relationship. It provides the reason behind having not only a frustrated love relationship but also have them recurrently. One of the things I like about the book is the use of foregrounding techniques like italicizing and bolded text. This draws attention to parts of the book with striking points; some sorts of take-homes for the reader. Another thing I love about the book is the inclusion of an exercise. The exercise is targeted at helping readers identify the root of the problem that keeps surfacing in their relationships. This inclusion makes the book more like a session with a psychologist. The exercise is broken into steps. Each step is explained properly. More, something like a worksheet is attached to the steps to help the reader go through the exercise easily and track their progress in the exercise.

Furthermore, the author practiced being open and shared with the reader his experience in love relationships and the problems he faced. This act of being open makes one see the exercise in the book in action. One gets to see the author taking his own pill. On the other hand, one thing I like dislike about the book is the presence of some errors. I did not expect to find any error in the book because the book has a lot to offer. It is a book that can be used in situations where one is having recurrent issues in one's relationship and needs an answer to why this is so. So, I expected it to be error free. To me, the book is not professionally edited.

I rate this book 4 out of 4. The reason is that though there are errors in the book, they are very minimal; just a few. Also, the errors do not have so much effect on the message of the book. To me, this book is for all adults. I recommend everyone 18 years and above to have a session with Thomas Jordan, PhD through the pages of this book: Learn to Love: Guide to Healing your Disappointed Love Life. It is definitely a book to read before going into a love relationship.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan is a book on love relationships, it thrives to enlighten people on how to build healthy and stable love relationships. The book is a picture of the interest and passion that the author has for helping people build better relationships by ensuring an increase in people's chances of finding and sustaining healthy love relationships, after witnessing the pain and suffering caused by an unhealthy love life firsthand in his own relationships. It was this passion that led the author to acquire such deep knowledge on the concept as a result of years of training in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, personal research and studies, and his clinical experiences and interactions with different patients. I applaud the effort and work that the author put into the book.

I love the fact that the information and contents of the book are easily verifiable. The author was very detailed and meticulous in his writings. He included detailed statistical records, quotes from renowned authors, dates, and referenced previous studies and research made on the subject. This is a deliberate attempt to compile a well-grounded piece that is based on real scientific foundation not something based on speculations and assumptions that does not work.

I love how the book was structured. The book is a product of a well laid out plan. It was carefully structured in three parts. The author began by sharing his personal experiences in different relationships starting from his mother to his numerous girlfriends and why many of his love relationships failed. He went on in the second part of the book to explain how most of our negative relationship experiences form a psychological pattern that negatively affects us in our relationships. In the third part of the book, he offered life applicable solutions to the problems that exist in love relationships that he outlined earlier in the book. The way he structured the book made it easy for me to grasp the concept of the book. I love the language style that the author employed in the book. He employed a plain and simple language style. He didn't make use of cacophonous words or make use of too much medical jargons which will make it difficult for the reader to understand and follow his line of thought. His choice of words are plain and simple, easy for any reader to understand. There's absolutely nothing that I disliked about the book. I only found one error in the whole book. The editor did a very good job. I'd rate the book four out of four stars. I'd recommend it to everyone whether single, married or in a love relationship.

Gomolemo Mothusi

Love relationships are hard, or maybe is it because of our lack of understanding as to what is really the problem and how we are supposed to approach them? This book gives an insight to the root cause of most of our relationship problems. A guide to recognize, deal with and overcome them; a refreshing realization that not all hope is lost, you can still heal and be better at love relationships. What I love about this book is how Dr. Thomas Jordan breaks down the process of learning to love, in a way that makes one want to take a closer look at their relationships and themselves. Not only does the author unearth your problems, he also offers a tangible solution; the well needed first step into solving your problems for good. This book is also a motivation to go out and seek professional help, because while some issues can be easily solved by reading this book and doing the exercises some are deeper and need to be broken down with the help of a professional.

Despite the book being very rich in love relationship solutions, the author however focuses only on romantic relationships, even though he had mentioned that love relationships also include family relations and friendships, basically any relationship with love. This leaves a huge gap of knowledge as to how we must then deal with or overcome the relationship problems or experiences in the other love relationships, despite mentioning over and over how they also contribute to issues in romantic relationships. I would rate Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, 3 out of 4 stars. I found the book very informative, relatable and applicable in my life. I however wish the other could have offered insight on how to build other healthy love relationships, not just romantic relationships.

This book is highly recommended to people having a hard time keeping and finding romantic relationships and can't seem to figure out what could be the problem. Readership is for a mature audience as it makes the concepts of the book easier to understand and apply.

Grace Bassey

This book by Dr. Thomas Jordan, a Psychoanalyst by Profession, is a real eye-opener, to recognizing, the main underlying cause of the disappointments, that people face every day in their love lives. The author traces the origin of both healthy and unhealthy love life to the home front. Being that, no one was born with innate ability to love but, just like everything else we learned, we learn to love. We gradually learned about love relationship from the love life and behaviors of the very first set of people (which in most cases is always members of the immediate family) we spent our infant years with. The author, through his many researches and encounters with various patients of disappointing love life, was able to reach a conclusion that the love relationship in a family, usually rubs off on the children who grow in that family. Hence, forming a greater part of their behavior and general approach to their love life as well.

The book is a great illumination in a dark tunnel, for victims of unhealthy love relationships. It provides practical guidance for people who have learned the worst things, about love relationship. Secondly, it answers the question; is it possible to change what one learned about love relationship in the past, and learn something new? Lastly, improving the chance of finding and sustaining a long-lasting love relationship without having to ruin the opportunity with unhealthy behaviors in a love relationship. I liked the fact that, the author included practical real-life experiences, both that of his patients and his, to make his points clearer and relatable. I also applaud the fact that, the author did not at any point sound sanctimonious of the homes with healthy love relationship or condemning others with unhealthy love relationship. But he, instead, focused on the unhealthy behaviors that affected the victims negatively. I particularly like the part that talks about applying the unlearning method. The author, as a matter of fact, suggested, that this method would require a lot of cautious and premeditated efforts by the patient, to right the wrong beliefs and ideologies, he or she must have gathered, on the long run. The book is professionally edited, as I didn't find any typo error or grammar error while reading the book.

I disliked the fact that the book was highly repetitive, and I had to force myself to read it to the end as it became tedious. The lengthy sentences were not even helping matters, as comprehension at most point became difficult. Moreover, there seemed to be many unnecessary details which seemed, to me, like they were just to fill up spaces in the book as most details were obviously not really necessary. The writer's tone is scholarly, his vocabulary and terminologies may pose a serious challenge for readers unfamiliar with this field of study (Psychology). In all, I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. Reasons bring that, even though I found some part of the book unappealing, based on my personal preference and taste, other readers may be able to put up with these, and actually find it interesting. I therefore recommend this book to readers of non-fiction, as well as for victims of unhealthy love relationships. This book is a sure compass you need out of that ugly mire of disappointing love life experiences, such as heartbreak, divorce, conflict, and what have you? Unto a healing ground.


In three parts, each one featuring a chapter divided further into mini-chapters, Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan provides a new, refreshing perspective on love relationship problems and solutions that allows readers to understand, research, and recover from failing relationships. The book begins by providing a definition of love life and the subjects that are analyzed in the book. It then opens up and analyses, in detail, the causes, after effects, and successful methods of avoiding unhealthy love relationships in anybody’s life.The book by New York-based psychoanalyst Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. offers a realistic and valid perspective on the outside factors that develop from childhood and influence the types of relationships that one experiences and builds throughout life.

With this book, a novel approach has been taken to a significant subject, going deep into the roots of the problems born in a relationship. The author does not advise how to improve exterior elements to a loving relationship but instead instills a formula that lets the reader identify their own causes, and as a result transform the love life, thus helping those couples seeking solutions but are too afraid or unsure of how to proceed. This approach is highly commendable to me since it gives the person the power to decide on a very important aspect of his life on his own. It was incredible to read on such a sensitive subject as love life in such a systematic way. As far as I can tell, the only issue with this book is its low readability score. Several paragraphs are constructed of one long sentence with no period separating them into easy-to-understand sentences.

I give Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. This book provides a unique opportunity for people to understand themselves and the factors that could be affecting their relationship apart from solely looking for the reasons in their partners. The author has also provided the example of his own love life changing journey, which was the initial reason for writing this book, in which he illustrates how he applied the recommendations given in the book. The book is intended for people who want to bring about positive changes in their relationships without the help of a therapist and extensive treatment. It urges readers to do their own research to understand the causes of their problems. Aside from this self-analysis, the book can be used as a guide to understand spouses, parents, or any couple to determine their reasons for a particular tendency they have in their relationship.


"This is not a book about love. This is a book about love relationships." That's how Thomas Jordan describes his 124-page guidebook entitled Learn to Love: Guide to Healing your Disappointing Love Life. Learn to Love is particularly made for those who think that they aren't the ones in control of their love lives and to those who experience repeatedly love lives disappointment; that's the goal of this book, to spread awareness on how to avoid the aforementioned devastating situations. The book was divided into three parts. The first one is 'The Unhealthy Love Life'; this part's main concern is to help the readers be familiar with unhealthy relationships. The second part is 'Psychological Love Life'; one of the main points of this part is about the most common experiences that make a relationship an unhealthy one. The last part is 'Unlearning Method'; this is the most important part of the book this is where you can learn most of the crucial lessons you should apply to change your unhealthy relationship.

The very first thing that caught my attention in this book is the cover. I liked how the author used the cover which contains a man and a woman who both look devastated. It teaches me that both women and men can experience disappointments in love relationships; it's not just the women nor just the men, but all of us can experience unhealthy relationships. The book is factual and research-based. Thomas mentioned that the concept of this book is already on his mind for a very long time, but he wasn't able to write this book yet because the information he had at that moment is insufficient. So, you can notice that the tone that the author used was filled with confidence.

I didn't find any errors while reading the book. I noted that this book was exceptionally well-edited and professionally written. Considering the facts I mentioned above, I rate this book a complete rating of 4 out of 4 stars. The book is highly recommended to those who think that they're not the ones in control of their relationships. This book suits best as well to the readers who always experience love life disappointments. And if you haven't been in a romantic relationship, but are trying to commit to it, you can still read this so you can prepare yourself to have a healthy love relationship. May this book help you fill your life with love.


Every one of us has struggled with disappointment in our love relationships at a certain point in life. These disappointments may not necessarily be with a romantic alliance instead with anyone who comes in contact with us. It is about any blissful bonding that may have tarnished over time. The author Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., has appealingly framed this book to inspire us all. His focus is majorly on those who are struggling with their love relationships. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a book based on Dr. Jordan's personal experiences during his thirty years of practice as a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst. He convincingly referred to his journey of psychological treatment by Dr. Benjamin Wolstein. The author has maintained a written guide during his weekly sessions with Dr. Wolstein. Those notes have aided him in providing more detailed discernment of the content. It is appreciative of him to share with others what he finds advantageous to him during the analysis. I can say the learnings of this book have key features from Dr. Jordan and Dr. Wolstein, collectively.

The book diverges into three parts for easy understanding. The primary one named 'the unhealthy love life' identifies unhealthy practices leading to underlying problems. The second part explains how we subconsciously learn beliefs, behaviors, and feelings from our surroundings. The author named this part 'psychological love life' as it provides awareness to disruptions and their aftereffects in our love life at the psychological level. 'Unlearning method' offered in the third part delivers an unlearning formula for challenging unhealthy practices and adopting healthy ones. Since the book carries years-long research and experience backing, the context of the book is not fictional. It could be trusted and recommended to anyone who feels entrapped in a love relationship. The author also provided a short template to help us evaluate our challenges in a love relationship. Working upon this template would guide one to realize the root cause of the problem and repetitive disappointment in one's relationship. It's when one knows the cause one could try to counteract. Once the deep-seated origin is clear, the book provides the steps that would help refrain indulgence to repetitive behaviors. The same actions would result in the same reaction to be the final note of the book.

The book can be rated 4 out of 4 stars for it is understandable and easy to execute. The book is a concise self-help guide and is suitable for all readers. It is not only beneficial to those who are in a predicament but to everyone who strives to make better relationships. The book does not contain any profanity, sexual references, and violence and is exceptionally well-edited.


Finding someone whose flaws you can live with is the key to happy love life. Trying to make someone you love fit your preferences or lifestyle is a complete waste of time. Regardless of whether or not the people the author Dr. Thomas Jordan once loved, loved him back or not, his book Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life was written and dedicated to them. There are a few books written by Dr. Thomas, one of which is Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, that aim to change the way we think about love and relationships on a daily basis. You've already taken the first of thousands of steps toward improving your love life by picking up a copy of this book.

In love, you don't make it happen, and the only thing you can control is how you relate to the person you're in a love relationship with. Love is a spontaneous emotional experience. The love you receive from your partner is almost entirely determined by how open and vulnerable you are. When we talk about vulnerability, we mean the emotional state that tells your partner you're open and ready to give and receive love, regardless of the hurts and blows you take because of your partner's past and wounded character. In the book's final section, where he outlines how people can unlearn some of their ingrained habits about relationships, I found a lot of value. It is more common for us to become overly connected to a lot of things and terrible methods of doing things in life, and as a result, we begin to believe that we are correct. However, Dr. Thomas Jordan, in his specialization of looking after his readers' healthy love lives, took his time to come up with smart strategies to detach from these repetitive, chronic behaviors in partnerships.

Other than those few pages that were difficult to understand, possibly because of complicated grammar that I was unable to decipher, I have no recollection of any parts of this book that I disliked or hated while reading. Everything went smoothly. It's a fantastic book It gets a 3 out of 4 stars rating from me. Instead of using high Standard English, the author might have utilized simpler grammar and reader-friendly English, and I would have awarded this book a perfect four stars. Do you need any assistance? How do you get out of the poisonous relationship you're in? Is everything going well in your relationship? Do you want a little spice in your relationship? Oh! You are unable to discover love because of a personal issue. As a result of Dr. Thomas Jordan’s excellent work, I strongly advise you to get a copy of this book.

Shakiera Reece

Love can be defined as a feeling of strong or constant affection toward a person or thing. Have you ever wondered how you came to know your love language and what you expect from a relationship? Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., is a self-help book that seeks to dissect the true meaning of a love life. The author posits realistic points as to why people in relationships act the way they do.

The saying is true that children live what they learn. The author states that we start learning about love as a child based on what we see around us. This is an unconscious form of learning, and what we learn follows us into adulthood.

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a resourceful and well-researched book. Its main aim is to help persons to understand and correct the unhealthy relationship practices that were learned unconsciously. I like the engaging manner in which the book was presented. The author provides a section for the reader to document his or her progress. The book has three main parts. In the first part, the author explains how unhealthy relationships can be repeated over time. The second part dealt with the psychological aspect of love relationships and finally, in part three, we are taught how to unlearn these unhealthy traits. The conversational tone of the book made it a fulfilling read. I didn't find any negative aspects of the book. The author was persuasive, and his writing style was confident. I was unaware of some of the unhealthy love life practices I had until the author shed light on them. This book is truly a remarkable finding, and I'm happy the author took it upon himself to help others achieve the best love life possible.

To make this book more credible, the author shares his love life story and how his method helped him live a healthy love life. I take great pleasure in awarding this book with 4 out of 4 stars. It seemed to be professionally edited and quite helpful. Are you unhappy in your relationship? Do you want to find the root cause of your unhappiness? All the answers are found in this book. I would recommend it, especially to married couples, persons who feel unhappy in their relationship and just people who are overall curious about understanding love. This is a marvelous read.

Anna Nemeth

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life offers a profound understanding of love relationships based on 30 years’ worth of research. The author’s passion and professional tone fuse together. That, and the quality makes the read very enjoyable, especially with the clear division of the content. Dr. Thomas Jordan wrote down the 10 most common problems and their after-effects that partners in love relationships face. He divided the book into 3 parts:
- The Unhealthy Love
- Psychological Love Life
- Unlearning Method

The guide reviews the problems, both intentional and unintentional. Explains how our defense mechanism works and what activates it. You will see the difference between love, relationships, and love relationships, which is a very intriguing approach. The guide includes, so-called, “unlearning” practices. Those methods will walk you through a healing process step-by-step, giving a personal insight into your resurfacing problems and will help in finding the remedy. Dr. Jordan brilliantly explains the basics of what can cause blocks in love relationships and makes sure you truly understand the reasons behind them. The language is simple, giving the book a fresh and light-hearted air which is welcome with the heavy topic. The exercises are effective and easily traceable. I loved the fact, that Dr. Jordan’s personal experiences and examples were built into the guide. It established a comfortable atmosphere rather than a professional and sterile one. The only flaw in the book is the frequency of grammatical inaccuracies. The text needs another round of editing and even though the errors are minor, they are frequent enough to disturb the reading.

All in all, I rate this book 3 out of 4 stars. It’s very digestible but needs proofreading. You won’t find complicated technical terms or long theoretical explanations. What you will find, however, is the necessary knowledge about love relationships, their ups and downs, and help to heal your memories and unhealthy patterns for good. And what’s more important is the reassurance of those problems being experienced by most of us. We are not alone and there is help and hope. Acceptance is one of the most important and powerful things in and out of love relationships, and it sweeps through the pages, in abundance. The book gives hope for thriving future love relationships through healing our broken parts and damaging beliefs. I highly recommend this book for everybody who has been hurt by a loved one or can’t move forward after bad experiences, let it originate from a family member or a romantic partner.

Kerry Limat

Have you ever wondered why your relationships never seem to work? Or have you wondered why you find yourself living a replica of your parents' catastrophic and abusive relationship? Have you wondered what exactly it would take to build a healthy romantic relationship and not repeat the mistakes that have seemed to take over your love life in the past? As unfortunate as all of the above are, loving right is entirely possible. Dr. Thomas Jordan outlined how to achieve that in his book, Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. This book gives a possible explanation of why most love relationships fail. It not only does that. It also shows readers how to ensure that subsequent relationships (or the current one) work for good.

First of all, I would like to say that I had never thought, even for a second, that our parents' negative attributes could affect or influence our choice of life partners. I always thought that we only look for good attributes that our parents possessed in our potential significant other, but Thomas Jordan made me believe otherwise. This was not the only revelation I had in the book. There are loads more that made me look at my love life differently. These revelations (which are in the first to the last page of the book) became the very thing that I liked most about it. The author's personal story at the end of this book is another thing that I loved. In that last chapter, he gives his readers a peek into his life. He starts with his background and soon gets to the story of his disappointing love life. This went a long way towards helping me relate with the author. His story is not very different from ours. It inspired me to want to do better, just like the author did. And I am confident that if he could overcome such disappointment, I can too

I cannot fault this book or its author in any way. Apart from the total lack of errors, which makes me say that it was exceptionally edited, I found myself engrossed in the stories told and the lessons taught in this short book. That is to say that I absolutely liked everything and disliked nothing in Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. I give Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life a rating of 4 out of 4 stars because I learned a lot from it and like all of it. Its excellent editing also made my decision to award it all stars an easy one to make. This is one book that I will never regret reading.

If you have had failed relationships in the past and are wondering what it is about you or the world that is hurting your love life, I advise that you read Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. On the other hand, if you are merely curious as to why people seem to be unhappy in their relationships despite being head over heels in love with their significant other at the start of it all, you should definitely read this book.

Christine Onyango 1

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan Ph.D. is a self-help book that gives the reader a guide towards achieving a healthy love relationship. The author, Thomas Jordan, begins the book by explaining that the book is not a book about love, but rather a book about love relationships. The book begins by describing the meaning of a love life. It then explains what an unhealthy love life is and the possible causes to an unhealthy love life. It then moves on to explain what a psychological love life is and relates it with an example of the author’s personal experience. Finally, the book suggests recommendations on how to remedy an unhealthy love life. I specifically like the Part III of the book which is on Unlearning Methods where the author explains that the things we have learned about love, whether intentionally or unconsciously, can be unlearned in order to learn new positive things or relearn the positive things to better our love relationships.

What I admire about the book is the meticulous manner in which everything is organized. The book is divided into three parts and further into chapters. The parts and chapters have a flow to them, beginning from the issue at hand, which is unhealthy love life, then causes and finally a solution. I especially like the fact that being a self-help guide, the author has not only listed the problems but went ahead and provided a remedy to every issue. Moreover, he uses examples, even his own love life experience, to ensure that the reader not only understands what he is talking about but also to enable the reader apply the solutions to their very own love lives.

I came across a few errors in the book, which proves that the book has not been professionally edited. However, apart from that, I found no other fault with the book. I therefore award the book 3 out of 4 stars. I see no reason to award it any lower rating than that. The content is very enlightening and the insight that Thomas Jordan has to offer on love relationships is very useful. I did not come across any profanity or use of vulgar in the book. The book does not have any religious connotation, which might limit it to an audience of specific faith. I would therefore recommend this book to every adult out there struggling with a disappointing love life, because the remedy to your situation might just be in this book.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan is a non-fictional book that addresses unhealthy love life issues. The writer focused on whether or not the relationship we form is healthy enough to promote and sustain the love we feel when we fall in love. The subject of love life was, however, treated from a psychological point of view. The book comprises three parts. They are; unhealthy love life, psychological love life, and unlearning method. The first part helps us identify some lifestyles that are unhealthy in our love life. The second part shows us how we form our psychological ideas of love and how it affects our love life. The third part introduces us to ways on how to treat unhealthy lifestyles practiced over time. The author's biography states that Dr. Jordan has researched and treated unhealthy love life relations for 30 years. This statement is evident in this book as the quality of work produced by the author is noteworthy. The author believes that what happens in our love life should remain our decision. He sees it as proof of maturity and fulfilling adult life.

I like that the author is well-grounded on the subject discussed in the book. It is evident in the wealth of knowledge I derived from the book. I learned that a love life starts the moment we are born and ends when we die. I also learned that love life is learned even when we are unconscious of it, from our parents or those around us. I also learned that trying to change someone was impossible to accomplish. I also learned that getting hurt unintentionally in love was a distinct possibility. I also learned that one could also experience financial abuse. I like that the writer wrote about his love life experiences in chapter 5, which for me, was the highlight. I like that the author took the time to explain the feeling the ten unhealthy relationship traits listed in his book produce. I like that author listed some familiar problems associated with unhealthy love life. I dislike that the book has some subject repeated in almost all the chapters. I dislike that I had to keep rereading the chapters to comprehend. For a reader who isn’t knowledgeable of the love life concept, this shouldn’t be the first book they read on the subject. This book seems advanced for a first-timer and, it could generate some form of confusion. Also, the information in chapter six on how couple therapists work isn’t needed. However, readers would have benefited from directives on how to contact a therapist.

This book is exceptionally well-edited. I, however, rate this book a 3 out of 4 stars because of the dislike mentioned above. I will recommend this book to psychologists and anyone interested in how love life psychology works. However, readers should bear in mind that this book is focused on the psychological aspect of love life and not on love as a subject. Readers should, therefore, not expect a guide on how to fall in love or how to know when they are in love.

Caleb Fx

Have you ever been in a serious love relationship? If so, how was your relationship with your partner? Was it a healthy one or a harmful one that you couldn't eat to get out of? Do you want to improve your interpersonal relationships? The book, Learn to Love: A Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan, talks about all these things and how to improve your current or future love life. The author also talks about the reasons why some people are constantly having trouble in all their relationships. From the book, we see that sometimes these people do not know the reason why they keep falling in love with the wrong person.

The author, Dr. Thomas Jordan, a psychologist, has tried to examine why some of his patients do not have a healthy relationship. He discovered that some of these problems date back to childhood, and how someone was raised at home has a great effect on how he will be handling his future love relationships. In the book, we are told that while young, there are certain things that we learn unconsciously, and hence, when grown, we try and replicate them in our own lives. These behaviors need to be unlearned so that we can at least improve on how we deal with relationships in the future. The author also tries to capture the general defense mechanisms that we apply while in a relationship.

What I liked most about this book were some of the lessons that I learned. It is a very resourceful book and has many teachings. From the book, I learned how I can improve my relationships by not letting the unhealthy experiences of the past replicate themselves in my future relationships. Though not easy, I also learned how I can unlearn some unhealthy psychological experiences and replace them with their opposites. Once I started reading this book, I could not stop. The author has found a way of capturing one's attention in a way I have never seen before. I was constantly reading and responding to the book by relating the experiences to the ones I have had. It was very nice of Thomas Jordan to use familiar examples that we could all relate to when explaining his points. While reading this book, I found nothing to dislike about it. I would give this book a rating of 4 stars out of 4. This is because it was very enjoyable and the author found a way to retain one's attention from the beginning to the end. There were also no grammatical or spelling errors that I came across. Also, there was no use of profane language in the text. I would recommend this book to teenagers and adults who are or would aspire to someday be in a healthy and happy love relationship.


Are you having a disappointing love life or going through a hard love experience? Worry not, as Learn to Love: A Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. is here for you. This awesome book has got all the necessary information that will be of great help in solving your problems and perhaps your love life. The author used his professionalism to research love relationships. The book is divided into three parts. The first part has two chapters and talks about an unhealthy love life. The second part has one chapter about the psychological love life. The third part talks about the unlearning method and has three chapters. The main aim of the book is to pass across the message that love is difficult because the health and success of your love life is determined by what you've learned about love relationships in your life. The author challenges us to ask ourselves what we've learned about love relationships. The author used the prowess of the research he carried to provide vital information regarding relationships. He aims to teach you something that will increase your chances of finding and sustaining a healthy relationship.

The author provides various ways you can learn about relationships, which are: being in a relationship with someone, observing and learning through instruction. He later explains the three parts of our psychological love life. The author has used a simple language, making the book easily understood. I like the author's style of writing. He has incorporated real-life examples to make his arguments clear. The author used various examples to show the concept of replication of unhealthy relationship experiences. An example given is a man who grew up in a family where his mother neglected him in favor of her husband, compelled by the husband's sickness. Her son is left to fend for himself emotionally within the family. He leaves home and finds a neglectful woman. The author clearly indicates that our current relationships are often the recreated experiences of whatever happened in the most important interpersonal relationships in our lives. I do agree with him. Anything that we interact with or anyone has an impact on our lives, either positively or negatively. I did not find any negative aspects in the book.

I did not notice any major errors in the book that would make me give this book a lower rating than the full rating, hence I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. This book is well written and edited exceptionally well. I would therefore recommend this wonderful book to all those who would like to have a good love life and those who have been having a hard time having a good love life. This book may reveal the source of their disappointments in their love lives, allowing them to change and enjoy their love life rather than losing hope in love.

Bhaskar Rogha

Learn to Love by Dr. Thomas Jordan is a step-by-step guide for improving love relationships by improving the way a person perceives and approaches love. It is based on Thomas’s thirty years of research and practice. He has explained the theory, which is then followed by small exercises for reflection. He has included his example as a case study. In the book, the author has also described the other services he and his team offer in this area. In the end, he has summarized the process. The first positive aspect is the book’s easy-to-understand language. Dr. Thomas Jordan has used only a few difficult words. The second positive aspect is the way he has explained the whole process. Each chapter starts by summarizing the learnings of the previous chapters, and then builds upon it, which lets the reader read further even if he or she had taken a break for a day or two. The third positive aspect is the lessons offered by Dr. Jordan. He has stated, “when your relationship experiences in love are unhealthy, they create aftereffects which are encoded in your psychological love life as well.” It implies that we (humans) are merely pass-through vehicles. We don’t hurt others until we get hurt by someone else, even if we are unaware of it. This was the first lesson. The second lesson made me laugh. Dr. Jordan has stated, ‘The problem with lying is, like with potato chips, “it’s impossible to eat just one.” The practice is addictive, to say the least.’ The third lesson is, “Despite all the idealized notions you might have about true love being beyond hurt, realistically, you can’t be in love without feeling unintentional hurt from time to time.” The fourth lesson is that the need for control in a relationship arises only when there is a sense of insecurity. The fifth (and the last) lesson is quite personal for me. The lesson is that one should practice respecting the people around him or her, even if others are not wise and worry about the things that don't matter in the long run. By doing so, one can stop the damage to his or her relationships.

In the preface Dr. Jordan has stated, “Consider the divorce rate, around 50% according to the latest statistics.” There is no citation or reference to this claim. It doesn’t even mention the place (state or country) regarding which the claim is being made. One more statement in the preface requires citation. Besides these statements, every claim is backed up. I found nine objective grammatical errors.

I am rating this book four out of four stars. I was hoping not to find another objective grammatical error, as that would have led me to deduct one star, which I didn’t want to.
This book is recommended to those who have come to know and understand that even relationships require effort (need to be worked upon) so that one can enjoy them rather than keep suffering because of them. As the title of the book suggests, it is for people who haven’t learnt how to love.

Ouryoaie Lamee

Learn To Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-help book written by Dr. Thomas Jordan. It consists of three parts. All three parts contain six chapters, with those chapters divided into little subheadings. This book ventures into relationships as a whole. It takes a look at the relationships we have with our families, friends, and other associates. But more emphasis is laid on romantic relationships. One thing I liked a lot in this book was how it dug deep into the healthy and unhealthy relationships we form with other people, especially when we fall in love with them. This book was very educative for me. While some of what I read in this book wasn’t new to me, it was a nice reminder of what was involved in forming good relationships. Even if you grew up in an unfavorable situation or you went through really bad relationships, all hope isn’t lost. If you’ve discovered you’re mirroring some undesirable traits from those past relationships. Those traits can be “unlearned”. I have a personal experience with this, so this was my favorite part while reading.

I didn’t dislike anything about this book. It was informative. It was a short read, and I was glued to most of the chapters. I even learned something new. It was about hope in a relationship. I couldn’t really give this feeling a proper name until I saw it expressed in this book. I was surprised because this is one of the main reasons people stay in toxic relationships. The hope that their partner or family member would get better or become the person they initially were. It is this hope that produces many disappointments. The author doesn’t paint this feeling like a bad thing, but he provides insight into what role hope can play in a relationship. I give this book a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. I could only note two grammatical errors. The book was edited very well. Thomas Jordan really did a lot of research when writing Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. One aspect stood out to me out of everything I read. It was the fact that we are unconsciously affected by our environment when it comes to our relationships with other people. That’s why there are repetitive cycles in families from one generation to another, and most victims aren’t even aware of this.

I would recommend this book to a general audience. Both young and old people need to read this. You don’t necessarily have to be in the dating market to learn something from Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life. Everyone has one form of relationship with other people, and this book contains the psychology behind those love relationships, and what can be done to break free of unhealthy ones.


There are many books written about love and love relationships. Some focus on being the perfect spouse while others focus on always being honest in a relationship. What most of these books fail to do is get to the root of what is causing the problem. Where other books have failed, this one has succeeded. Have you ever thought about the way your past relationships affect your current one? Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., provides advice on how to sustain a healthy love relationship. Do you wish to heal your love life? This is a book you need to read.

This is an inspiring self-help book. The author based his research on his experiences and years of practice. What I liked most about this book was the conversational tone of voice that the author used. The author states that unhealthy relationships are repetitive. Ever heard the saying, 'Children live what they learn'? Well, that is definitely a true statement. We often replicate the relationships we see in the home we grew up in. If you grew up in an abusive home, chances would be you are going to be an abuser or you are going to expect to be abused.

I liked the structure of this book. With its bold headings and subheadings, it was easy to navigate and was a quick read. I find all that the author talked about very relatable, and I could easily point out areas in my relationships that stemmed from unhealthy past relationships. I could not find a single aspect of this book that I did not like. I found the book inspiring and worth the read. I was particularly fond of section two of the book, which dealt with unlearning all we knew about love relationships. The author gave a step-by-step guide on how to carry out the unlearning process. I liked how interactive and practical this book was.

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life was exceptionally well-edited thus I will give it a rating of four out of four stars. I couldn't give it a lower rating because it achieved its purpose of educating and inspiring its readers. The author seemed to be skilled at teaching since his explanations were clear and concise. This book is perfect for all who wish to improve their relationships. I would recommend it to married couples, especially those on the brink of a divorce. I'm positive this book will improve your marriage.

Marsha JJ

Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life tackles the thorny topic of love relationships. Author Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. provides the refreshing perspective that it is possible to reinvigorate your love life. If you don’t currently have a love life, there’s help for you as well. In this interesting book, he helps readers uncover why love relationships go wrong and how to find a way out of unhealthy patterns. Love can be complicated, but perhaps it doesn’t need to be as complicated as we make it out to be. By increasing awareness about our unconscious thoughts about love, Jordan suggests we can start to change our thought patterns and shift our actions to ones that better serve us. The book is well-organized into several parts. First, Jordan discusses what he calls the “unhealthy love life”. He reviews how people often repeat the same love life problems again and again. I found this discussion to be quite interesting. Next, he discusses the “psychological love life”. This has to do with how you represent love in your mind. Finally, he teaches you to “unlearn” what isn’t working for you. This step allows you to disrupt your patterns and begin losing the baggage that has burdened you in the past.

I liked many aspects of this book. I appreciated Jordan’s professional perspective, and I felt that it added credibility. Jordan is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst with expertise in love relationships. Since he used his own experiences with patients to inform his view, I had confidence that he knew what he was talking about. I thought he had great insight into common obstacles in love relationships, and he offered useful suggestions about how to overcome those obstacles. I didn’t find any significant negative points with this book. I found it to be well-organized and insightful. One minor point is that the book could have benefited from some additional editing. I found some choppy parts due to the author’s use of partial sentences, and I felt this aspect could have been improved. However, this didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the book.

Overall, the book did a great job shedding light on love relationships. This is a topic that demands more attention than we give it. I believe this book serves a great purpose and can benefit many. For those reasons, I rate it 4 out of 4 stars. The title of the book is quite clear in pointing out the target audience for this book. Anyone who has a disappointing love life will find great value in the book. I highly recommend it to readers who are willing to be proactive in creating a fulfilling love life. If you’re ignoring your love life, this book just might be the nudge you need to get things rolling in the right direction again.

Etini Willie

In our world today, divorce is becoming a common phenomenon. Romantic relationships are falling apart amidst severe pains, hurts and heartbreaks. This book, Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, is an attempt by the author, Dr. Thomas Jordan, to proffer solutions to the mishaps in love relationships. Love is inevitable. Human beings would always fall in love, but the big challenge is the relationships we are able to build when we are in love. The primary concern of this book is to show how to successfully build a healthy and sustainable relationship when we fall in love. Dr. Jordan starts this book by presenting the origin of unhealthy love lives. Here, factors that are originating catalysts for unhealthy love relationships are brought to the fore. The second part of the book explores some toxic experiences in romantic relationships and the negative feelings they create. From there, the author takes the reader on a journey on how to fix these persistent heartaches in relationships. This section provides practical based actions and solutions that can help an individual achieve a healthy and sustainable love relationship.

In writing this book, the author has created what I would call a masterpiece on love and relationships. I love the way the author presented his concepts in this book. The concepts were real yet simple enough for the reader to comprehend fully. I particularly love the way the author breaks down his concepts with formulae. He gave formulae like the love life formula, the learning formula and the unlearning formula. I also love the fact that the author places the responsibility of building a fruitful and healthy relationship on the individual involved. The knee-jerk reaction, when relationships fail, is to cast aspersions on the person one was involved with. The author rather opines that every person must take responsibility for a failed relationship, consider their own personal traits that led to the failed relationship and take conscious steps to fix themselves to be able to build a healthy and sustainable relationship. There is nothing to dislike about this book. The book handles the issues people face in love relationships deeply. It provides a template that one can follow to achieve a turnaround in love relationships. Also, the book is based on professional experience in helping people with relationship issues.

The book is exceptionally edited as I could not find any typos or grammatical errors in the course of reading this book. I rate the book 4 out of 4 Stars. I give the book this rating because it comprehensively tackles the problems in love relationships. It's one of the most detailed books I have read on love and romantic relationships. I recommend this book specially for married couples. It can help them build healthy and strong bonds. I also recommend the book specially for relationship therapists. It is a powerful tool that can help them in their job of providing solutions to relationship problems. It is also highly recommended for parents, guardians and caregivers. This is because the book establishes the fact that the love experience given to people in their formative years is what they exhibit in their relationships when they are adults.


I do not think there is a person who has never had questions about how to build a happy romantic relationship. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life guides the reader through the unhealthy patterns that appear when trying to form a relationship and how their root cause lays deep in the unconscious. The author describes which particular events from the past eventually lead to erroneous beliefs about relationships, and how these beliefs make us see a distorted reality. Being an apparently helpless cause there are ways to conquer our unconscious in order to escape the recurring unhealthy patterns. Thomas Jordan, Ph.D. also provides the antidote actions which will eventually form the skills to build a healthy relationship or heal the present one. From the start, the author gives the reader an explanatory introduction that acts like a map of the book. It represents a little summary for the more detailed text that is to come. Besides that, the text feels like an interaction with the therapist where the author has an active discussion with the reader. The language used in the book is simple and understandable for someone who is not specialized in psychology: the author gives a lot of examples to explain complicated phenomena in a practical way. The book supports the idea of changing yourself rather than blaming others.

As for negative aspects, the information tends to be repetitive throughout the book, and some of it is not useful. It demonstrates, in theory, some psychological phenomena, but it lacks clear and practical ways to manage them: the book tells you what you should do, but not how to do it. In the end, you gain a little knowledge about some things but do not really know what to do with them. I would not call it a self-help book because it does not provide the reader with clear steps to improve their relationship.

I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. I found very few errors, and I consider this book a simple introduction for people to relationship psychology and predetermined beliefs. It does not change lives, but it provides some new points of view on why we behave the way we do and, most importantly, the fact that we can change ourselves as soon as we become conscious of the negative patterns that we carry in our relationships. I would recommend this book to the reader that is looking to improve their relationship and maybe discover new ways to do that.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, by Thomas Jordan, Ph.D., is a manual that mentally develops you for an actual love relationship. It indirectly tackles love, by looking at the core foundation of how we love which is our love relationships. I gained insight into why I love the way that I do through the pages of this book. I did not realize that even though I knew better about love I could not do better, because what I absorbed was still operating inside of me. To some extent, we only realize once we get into a love relationship and the unhealthy traits that we learned are triggered, that there is an issue that needs fixing.

What I liked most about the book, is that Thomas Jordan lays out a step-by-step guide of identifying whether there is a problem in your love life and how to combat that problem. He calls it love life psychology. Society does not place considerable emphasis on emotional intelligence, but it is an extremely critical part of any person’s growth and life. I could personally identify with Dr. Thomas Jordan’s first love relationship which was destructive, yet it became the basis of how he would love in the future. It is an interesting display of how we do not even perceive that in trying to help someone who does not know how to love we are harming ourselves. The book teaches you that love is not something you are born with, but it is something you learn, which could cause extraordinarily uncertain outcomes. It enlightens you on the fact that the subconscious mind learns way before we start to realize it. That is what we transfer into our relationships whether we choose to or not. Thomas Jordan helps us take control of our love lives instead of being controlled by them. You replicate what you have learned as love. Every so often we recognize that what we have learned is not love, but because it is all we experience it becomes the only way we can act in love. If we do not unlearn it, it continues into every relationship and produces a constant cycle of bad love relationships. This is the reason why this book has become fundamentally significant to me. It was not possible to read the book and not do any self-introspection.

I rate this book 4 out of 4 stars because it exposed a fundamental aspect of my life which not only affected me emotionally but also mentally. I could not quite understand the turmoil experienced in my love relationships, until I read this book. It aided me in commencing the process of reversing years and years of love damage. I would recommend this book to every adult that struggles with forming and creating non-toxic bonds in all relationships. The book is exceptionally flawless and professionally edited. I did not note any errors.


Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life is a self-awareness book by Dr. Thomas Jordan. Inspired by Dr. Leo Buscaglia's 'Love Class', Dr. Jordan studied love relationships inside out in what he calls love life psychology. In his book, he says that the two natural, intense human emotions are grief and love. Grief is the result of losing love. He then distinguishes the difference between love and being in love. Dr. Jordan divides his book into three parts. Part I is Unhealthy Love Life, where he discusses the characteristics of an unhealthy love life. Part II is Psychological Love Life, where he explains to the reader toxic characteristics learned in unhealthy relationships, when we learn these toxic responses to love, and identifying who taught us these toxic responses. The final part is the Unlearning Method, where the reader finds tools and coping strategies to challenge learned toxic relationship experiences.

Dr. Jordan is a licensed psychoanalyst, which enhances the credibility of everything outlined in the book. His source of information is from scientific research and real-life experiences. At first, I was afraid to read this book, because I knew I would discover undesirable traits about myself and the effects they have on my relationships. But, as I continued reading, I discovered it was easy to unlearn negative behaviors. I enjoyed the author's tone in the book. He explains terms in a kind and empathetic manner. I appreciated the worksheets in the book, that enable the reader to identify which coping mechanisms appear in their personal life and how to confront them. I also liked that the author shared his personal experiences in toxic relationships. Using the steps outlined in the book and with the help of his therapist, Dr. Jordan could create healthy relationships and develop new coping mechanisms.

I found nothing to dislike about the book. It is professionally edited, and I only found one error. I rate Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life, four out of four stars. It deserves this rating because unlike other self-awareness books with misleading titles, the author provides a step-by-step method in improving your love life. Dr. Jordan tries his best to use simple terms when explaining concepts. I'd recommend the book to audiences above 16 years old. The book is a guide to preventing unhealthy relationship experiences and creating new healthy ones. There are no profane words or erotic scenes. I hope the author writes another book, one with more details on the toxic characteristics in love relationships.


Someone wise once told me that love is the highest form of expression that we can experience. Truly, I genuinely agree that our capacity to love and be loved in return is what makes our lives even more special. However, there are many factors that we also need to consider when we fall in love. Love is wonderful, but it is definitely not easy to maintain relationships. Learn to Love: Guide to Healing Your Disappointing Love Life by Dr. Thomas Jordan is a self-help book that aims to help its readers understand more about the concept of love. In this book, he explains some of his theories that will help us learn more about different factors that may affect how we view love and romantic relationships.

First of all, one of the things I loved about this book is that is very easy to understand. The author was able to explain all of his points very well, while also being able to provide concrete examples from his previous studies. In this way, readers can understand what he is trying to say better. Aside from that, I also loved that this book is also quite interactive. The author makes use of different activities so that the reader can reflect on his/her personal love life. An example would be the fill-in-the-blank questions that would make readers be more immersed and would help them contemplate their love relationships.

In addition to that, I liked the concepts discussed by the author. He made sure to discuss the importance of understanding what an unhealthy relationship is all about and the factors you need to consider in moving forward with your life. Besides, I loved that the author was very consistent in emphasizing the importance of being aware of what is happening in your relationship, and also being in charge of your own love life. At the end of the day, it all boils down to what is happening in your relationship, and you are also the only one capable of changing it if you want to. There is nothing I disliked about this book, and I also did not find any errors. Overall, I would rate this book a 4 out of 4. I would recommend this to adult readers who are looking for a book that would help them understand their love relationships better. If you are struggling with your own love life, or if you ever faced past struggles, this book is perfect for you.