Dr. Jordan
If you’re in a love relationship and you can’t stop cheating, the first step is to consider the idea that you have an emotional problem. Plainly put, you have an underlying problem with emotional intimacy. If you can accept that you have a love life problem, with enough self-dedication, you’ll be able to change…
Read MoreLove takes three forms in adulthood: the love we give to another, the love we give to ourselves, and the love we get when love is given to us. Let’s talk about each one of these separately. First there is the love we give to another. This is basically a “self-less” love meant to build up…
Read MoreThe familiar (root is the word family) can have a relentless grasp upon our emotional lives. Most of us don’t know this. We simply seek it throughout life unaware. Which means that we recreate it repetitively because that is what we have learned. Problem is, the familiar can be healthy and a guide to a…
Read MoreI knew the late Dr. Benjamin Wolstein as a teacher, supervisor, psychoanalyst, and as the extraordinary individual he was. This last characteristic, I believe, could only be experienced if you were brave enough to be a patient of this extraordinary analyst. As a psychoanalyst he devoted himself exclusively to his craft: studying human beings up…
Read MoreMy love life research has taught me that our love lives are in our minds. What you’ve unconsciously learned about love relationships from the relationship experiences you’ve had in life is in control of your love life. As illustrated by the individual in the image pointing toward his own mind as he symbolically contemplates his…
Read MoreRegarding the word “intimacy,” let’s separate the word from its commonly assumed sexual meaning and focus on its usage in the phrase “emotional intimacy.” What is emotional intimacy anyway? I am referring to the ability to form and sustain a healthy loving relationship. Let’s assume that when a person “falls in love,” the actual choice involved in…
Read MoreThis is my intro to both this post and its companion post, ‘Loving A Married Woman.’ If you love a married man and you’re in a love relationship with him, read this post. You are engaged in what is commonly thought of as a ‘triangle.’ Triangles are rough on the heart. Fundamentally, they are unstable,…
Read MoreIf you love a married woman and you’re in a love relationship with her, read this post. You are engaged in what is commonly thought of as a ‘triangle.’ Triangles are rough on the heart. Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table. Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because…
Read MoreMost of us would agree that the emotion of love is an essential ingredient for healthy development. When love is absent or distorted in the context of unhealthy relationships, unhealthy personality and interpersonal consequences are for certain. The unfortunate reality is there are many parents raising children who have been exposed to unhealthy loving in…
Read MoreIs it time to work on your love life? Odd question? We work on everything else: social life, work life, family life, financial life… We have a divorce rate that remains steady at somewhere around 50% and it gets higher for second and third marriages. Maybe we’ve gotten complacent and accept the inevitability of a…
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