Unsettling Your Life For Love


OK, you’ve got a very predictable routine. You’ve got a neat little life going that you are 100% in control of. It’s very familiar to you. Not a hair out of place.

Now why would anyone be interested in messing that up for love?

Love is unpredictable, unusual, messy, out of control (at least at the beginning) and very unfamiliar. (Plus it has been known to drive control freaks crazy!) Most people work very hard to get to that neat little place that is familiar and better yet predictable if not controllable.

And if you live alone all the better. You’ll be in even more control over everything you have and come in contact with. Nobody using your stuff when you are not around, right? Nobody to mess things up. But why isn’t this enough to keep you happy?

Why do most of us end up struggling with something as messy as a love relationship?

I think that we’re all born with not only a need for love but a need to have a little adventure in life. It’s this second need when coupled with the first that brings along all the drama. Connoisseurs of adventure, that is, people who have it on a regular basis learn to enjoy the unpredictability and uncontrollability of experience. They jump into new things and take life as it comes direct without all the demands for the control a lot of people want over unpredictable experience.

All this to say…to fall in love you have to jump in. Read the signs. When they say go, go. There is not enough love in the world to procrastinate.

When you’re 99.5 years old and reviewing your life on a porch somewhere, what do you think is going to matter to you at that moment? How much money you made? Nope. How much property you won? Nope. What’ll matter is how much love you’ve given and received.

Don’t wait until I’m proven right.

Comments? Welcome. Dr. T. Jordan

Dr. Jordan

Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist, certified interpersonal psychoanalyst, author, professor, and love life researcher.

Leave a Comment