love-life
The most important question to ask yourself when you’re trying to make a change in your love-life is: How do my past experiences influence my love-life? It’s important to have some idea about what you’ve learned about love earlier in life and whether or not what you’ve learned is helping or hurting your love-life. What…
Read MoreCompatibility is what most single people have in mind when they are looking for love. But what is it? You can try to get off easy by offering the dictionary meaning of the word compatibility as: the state in which two things (people) are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. This…
Read MoreWhat is a serial monogamist? A single man or woman who enters one love relationship at a time in a committed fashion for a limited period of time. Serial monogamists do not cheat on their lovers. Their commitment problem does not appear in that form. Their commitment issue emerges in relation to how long they…
Read MoreWhat? I owe you for the love you gave me? You know how many times I have heard this in the stories my patients tell me. This kind of ‘guilt tripping’ deserves an analysis. First off, true love is a gift. If it’s not a gift and you owe something for it, it’s not love.…
Read MoreWhen love comes it’s easier than when it leaves, right? Even though love can drive us crazy when it arrives unannounced, for most of us it’s a great joy when it arrives. I think the biggest problem for lovers is we are forgetting how to ‘grieve.’ Why? Because grief hurts and we try to get…
Read MoreBefore I get into the problems weight can create in someone’s love-life I want to register a personal opinion. I’ve met a few well adjusted heavy people over the years and continue to do so. These beautiful people are heavy and it has become part of a personality they wear as well as anyone else’s.…
Read MoreHere’s a rule of thumb that will make your love relationship a little easier, guaranteed: don’t assume your lover should know what is in your head or your heart. I like to call this assumption playing ‘lover’s telepathy.’ This is where lovers communicate sympathetically to each other without words. Fascinating when it happens, and it…
Read MoreSexual abuse causes an injury to the mind. At earlier times in our lives when we were vulnerable, sexual abuse was psychologically traumatic. This traumatic experience was registered as an injury in the mind. Psychological injuries result in defensive reactions whose purpose is to cope with traumatic aftereffects. Sexual abuse has an impact on what…
Read MoreAs a companion post to ‘Men & Their Feelings,’ I offer you ‘Women & Their Needs.’ Traditionally, woman have been made to believe that they are the weaker sex. Remember that? There was a time in history, and presently in some places, that women were considered possessions. Men married in order to possess a woman…
Read MoreAllow me to dispel any misunderstandings right away, men have feelings, and lots of them. Everybody’s born with them. It’s what we learn to do with them that makes the difference. In this culture men are taught to put some of them away, especially the softer ones. Anger and aggressiveness are OK within certain limits.…
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