love-life
Control in any form destroys love. Why? Because it limits and interferes with the freedom that love requires to thrive. The most common reason for trying to control a lover is to avoid getting hurt. My old mentor used to say, “Where did you get the idea you could be in love without getting hurt?”…
Read MoreThere are many people these days who avoid love because deep down inside they don’t believe they can survive a broken heart. They don’t believe in their natural capacity to heal. Plus, they may have had certain love-life disappointments in the past that convinced them to avoid love now in the present. The real tragedy…
Read MoreIt’s difficult to love an active alcoholic without becoming a part of his or her illness. The only hope you have for a better relationship at some point in the future is to become aware of the problem and work your way out of the limited relationship you currently have. This will inevitably simplify the…
Read MoreThere are a few practical steps you can take to start prepping your love-life for change. I’m talking about a psychological preparation for change that doesn’t involve years of therapy or a long analysis of your personal history. I’m talking about a simple inquiry directed at what you believe about your yourself and your love-life.…
Read MoreMost people when they hear about a love relationship that has become abusive feel concern for and protective of the victim. This makes sense. However in this essay I’m going to ask you to take some of that concern and protectiveness and apply it to the abuser. Let’s talk about the abusing person as someone…
Read MorePeople who cheat in a love relationship have a particular kind of psychology. There are four basic components: what they’re afraid of, what they’ve learned in the past about cheating, their limited ability to be intimate in love, and their personality. These four components are always present in the psychology of a person who cheats…
Read MoreIf you’re in the business of trying to ‘fix’ your lover, you need to read this post. That goes for those of you who are in the process of being ‘fixed’ as well. Fixing implies that something is ‘broken’ and needs fixing. In a love relationship, the implication is that your lover is ‘broken’ or…
Read MoreIf you are avoiding a love commitment chances are you’re afraid of being ‘locked up’ in your love relationship. This fear of being controlled requires an underlying belief that you will lose your freedom if you committed to love. Let’s examine this fear of losing your freedom in love a little more deeply. Many of…
Read MoreAs a general definition of what we mean by the phrase ‘love-life,’ I’ll offer you the following: A love-life is what you think, feel, and do in your life involving the emotion of love including romance, family, how you feel about yourself, and beyond. This definition of love-life is probably a bit broader than you…
Read MoreApart from the usual factors that predict divorce like being too young, going against the family of origin, and breaking locally accepted conventions or customs that define a successful marriage. The most powerful influence on the success or failure of marriage will come from your own expectations. By expectations I simply mean, what you expect…
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