Spring Fever and Love


Finally! Springtime is upon us and summer will follow. This is traditionally the time of year when love hits the senses and people start seriously thinking about their love lives. What is it about the warm weather?

My take on it is that we’re all folded up and trying to keep warm, running around to avoid the cold (at least up here in the Northeast USA) without really taking much time to, you guessed it, smell those flowers! Taking time to smell flowers is another way of saying, slow down enough to let your feelings catch up with you.

I do know a lot of people who stay busy in order not to get upset. This little “defense mechanism” is pretty common. The problem of course is burnout. When the weather gets warmer and we begin to shed the excesses or anything else we have been using to cope, it is time to relax and let go.

Building a little relax time into your lifestyle can be one of the most important things you do for the health of your love life. This is how it works: first you have to take a good hard look at your life and decide whether or not it’s time to let your need for love come into focus. This can be the hard part for a lot of people who have grown accustomed to avoiding the issue. Remember, it is very easy to live without love.

If you are getting over a relationship or simply got good reasons for exploring and developing your own individuality on your own, by all means go to it. Working on improving the relationship you have with yourself is another powerful activity you can do for your love life (but that’s for another post). Here we are talking about slowing down and relaxing enough for your natural interest in love to come through.

Now some of you, maybe a lot of you, will misinterpret an interest in love with looking for sex. Sex is great but love is a bit broader in scope. Looking for and readying oneself for sex is a great pastime but not what I’m talking about here. This post is about making oneself receptive to love. By the way, receptivity is not exclusively a female thing. It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or woman, receptivity to love is a psychological thing.

In a nutshell, being receptive to love means you have voluntarily cleared away the barriers inside and outside yourself to the free-flowing influence (and out-fluence) of love. You’ve worked your way through the anxieties, the insecurities, the worry, and those unfortunate habits of being in over-control to an open and receptive state of mind and heart. Now you’re all warmed up and ready for whatever comes your way. Don’t forget to smell those flowers!

Comments? Welcome. Dr. T. Jordan

Dr. Jordan

Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist, certified interpersonal psychoanalyst, author, professor, and love life researcher.

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