Love, Trance & Exploitation


Unfortunately there are too many people out there who are looking to take advantage of those of us who are ready and willing to “fall in love,” broadly speaking. These individuals have given up on love and are basically interested in whatever opportunities they can find to “exploit” starry eyed lovers. What does it take to protect yourself?

Exploitation, one of the abuses that are possible in an unsuspecting love life, usually involves the obtaining of money or power or both from the “victim.” Exploiters are adept at “sizing up” their victims, especially the “dreamers” who are seeking the perfect love relationship, some form of stardom, or simply trying to confirm the naive belief in a loving world.

Exploiters get into their victims lives in whatever way they can for maximum benefit. The best exploiters are good at working the vulnerable areas and can stay “attached” to their victims for quite a long time before discovered. Once discovered, it is shocking to the victim to realize the extent to which the exploiter was manufacturing an “act” for the procurement of whatever he or she wanted from the victim.

The good news is, it is entirely possible to get better at spotting these individuals and getting rid of them sooner than later. Unfortunately, the wisdom gained is often at the price of a significant amount of money or trouble. Nevertheless, once a sincere good hearted person is able to “sense” the exploiters, the probability of being exploited goes down considerably. Sensing them usually involves using your feelings and asking yourself critical questions about what you are doing and what is being done to you. If somebody starts promising you the world, think twice.

The probability of keeping these people out of your life will no doubt increase if you are also honest with yourself about what it was that the exploiter used to exploit you. Once the trance is broken and you become aware, don’t delay close down that avenue to further exploitation.

Say for example, if an exploiter used fame and fortune to exploit his or  her victim, being realistic about who you are and reminding yourself of this reality can go a long way toward keeping these people away from your head, heart, and pocketbook. Oh, I almost forgot, don’t worry, karma always catches up.

Comments? Welcome. Dr. T. Jordan




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Dr. Jordan

Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist, certified interpersonal psychoanalyst, author, professor, and love life researcher.

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