Pregnant Woman’s Prerogative


Yesterday I sat with a very pregnant woman. In fact she is 7 months pregnant with twins. She told me a secret that pregnant women probably all know about but never tell (except to each other, maybe). She broke ranks and told me (a man!) about the ‘pregnant woman’s prerogative.’

Now if you’re a pregnant woman reading this post, you’ll know exactly what I am talking about and you’ll probably wonder how I came to have such information. It was a vulnerable moment for her I assure you. Being her trusted doctor I had an opportunity to learn a little something men are rarely directly told. I cherished the moment.

My pregnant patient told me that a pregnant woman can never be denied. She told me that a pregnant woman gets anything she wants from the father of her baby. All she has to do is ask.

Then she proceeded to tell me, with a gigantic smile across her face, how she recently charmed thousands of dollars out of her husband by using the ‘pregnant woman’s prerogative’ on him. “If I’m going to go through all of this I just might need a few distractions!” It made me wonder about my own wife’s pregnancy with our son Bradley.

Thinking back, I remembered how I bought her jewelry and anything she wanted at the time. I couldn’t say no. Was this temporary inability to set limits some strange form of nesting behavior on my part? Did I feel guilt? Guilt that I had had a hand in creating this phenomenon (pregnancy) and now I was going to literally sit by the wayside and watch her ‘deliver’ the goods?

Did she as a pregnant woman have some kind of magical super human power because of the biochemistry of the experience? Maybe it’s hormonal? I know, gestation brought her closer to God or something, as an act of creation, and gave her special powers for 9 months and beyond? Very mysterious stuff to say the least.

All I know is I was powerless to refuse her requests and needs during this time in our lives. We didn’t have much money at the time, but that didn’t figure into wanting to satisfy her requests. I even overspent on getting our apartment ‘ready’ and used bill money that year to do it.

Now, nineteen years into our marriage, I realize the importance of what she was willing to go through to form our family. As a man I can only guess at what she experienced. I marvel at the fact that she had the ability to literally ‘make a human being’ on her own after conception.

In these uncertain times when the identities of men and women as well as their relationship to each other are shifting and changing, one thing will always remain the same. The ability to grow a human being and deliver him or her into this world will always be a source of wonder and special status. There are many different forms of creativity to be sure. But to me, this act of creation will always be one of the things that reaffirms the specialness of women.

Comments? Welcome. Dr. Tom Jordan

Posted in

Dr. Jordan

Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist, certified interpersonal psychoanalyst, author, professor, and love life researcher.

Leave a Comment