relationships
Are you afraid of love? Welcome to the club. I don’t think there’s a human being alive who hasn’t had the experience of fearing love. Why? What could be scary about love? Isn’t this the feeling we are all looking for? In my opinion, the problem is the vulnerability that comes with love. The only…
Read MoreHere’s a guarantee at a time when guarantees are rare: change how you feel about you and your love-life will get better. Love-life defined as love in your interpersonal life whether it be in romance, friendship, family, or simply how you feel about people. The point is love has an affinity for positive self-esteem. Now you…
Read MoreThe most important question to ask yourself when you’re trying to make a change in your love-life is: How do my past experiences influence my love-life? It’s important to have some idea about what you’ve learned about love earlier in life and whether or not what you’ve learned is helping or hurting your love-life. What…
Read MoreCompatibility is what most single people have in mind when they are looking for love. But what is it? You can try to get off easy by offering the dictionary meaning of the word compatibility as: the state in which two things (people) are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. This…
Read MoreWhat is a serial monogamist? A single man or woman who enters one love relationship at a time in a committed fashion for a limited period of time. Serial monogamists do not cheat on their lovers. Their commitment problem does not appear in that form. Their commitment issue emerges in relation to how long they…
Read MoreWhat? I owe you for the love you gave me? You know how many times I have heard this in the stories my patients tell me. This kind of ‘guilt tripping’ deserves an analysis. First off, true love is a gift. If it’s not a gift and you owe something for it, it’s not love.…
Read MoreHere’s a rule of thumb that will make your love relationship a little easier, guaranteed: don’t assume your lover should know what is in your head or your heart. I like to call this assumption playing ‘lover’s telepathy.’ This is where lovers communicate sympathetically to each other without words. Fascinating when it happens, and it…
Read MoreSexual abuse causes an injury to the mind. At earlier times in our lives when we were vulnerable, sexual abuse was psychologically traumatic. This traumatic experience was registered as an injury in the mind. Psychological injuries result in defensive reactions whose purpose is to cope with traumatic aftereffects. Sexual abuse has an impact on what…
Read MoreThere are many people these days who avoid love because deep down inside they don’t believe they can survive a broken heart. They don’t believe in their natural capacity to heal. Plus, they may have had certain love-life disappointments in the past that convinced them to avoid love now in the present. The real tragedy…
Read MoreIt’s difficult to love an active alcoholic without becoming a part of his or her illness. The only hope you have for a better relationship at some point in the future is to become aware of the problem and work your way out of the limited relationship you currently have. This will inevitably simplify the…
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