Preparing for Love
I’m sure you’ve heard this tired old expression more than once, “be yourself!” It’s the advice we usually give each other when one of us is trying to be something or someone other than who we really are. Unfortunately it is common for a person to try to solve life’s problems by taking on a…
Read MoreThe biggest problem with love is our tendency to avoid the feeling of vulnerability. The way we (humans) do that is to construct defenses to protect ourselves from the discomfort and expected dangers of vulnerability. To be vulnerable is to be open and receptive to what comes from the world and from inside of ourselves.…
Read MoreFor those of you familiar with Freud. Remember he supposedly said, it’s all about ‘love & work.’ Well, let’s modify that a little bit and say in some instances it’s about ‘love vs. work.’ In this world, if you are looking for a way to temporarily avoid something painful in your personal or interpersonal life,…
Read MoreThis post is about the possible effects of a ‘sick mother’ on a daughter’s adult love-life. My female patients often see a connection between the difficulty they are having in their love-lives and the fact of their own mother’s emotional sickness when they were growing up. This state of ‘sickness’ includes either or both physical and…
Read MoreThis post is about the possible effects of a ‘sick mother’ on a son’s adult love-life. My male patients often see a connection between the difficulty they are having in their love-lives and the fact of their own mother’s emotional sickness when they were growing up. This state of ‘sickness’ includes either or both physical and…
Read MoreThis post is about the possible effects of an emotionally absent father on a daughter’s adult love life. Many women see a connection between the difficulty they are having in their love lives and the fact of their own father’s absence when they were growing up. The state of ‘absence’ I am talking about includes both…
Read MoreThis post is about the possible effects of an ‘absent father’ on a son’s adult love-life. I meet men who can trace some of the difficulty they are having in their love-lives to the fact of their own father’s emotional and physical absence in their lives. Unfortunately, emotional absence and its close relative ‘neglect’ can…
Read MoreAre you afraid of love? Welcome to the club. I don’t think there’s a human being alive who hasn’t had the experience of fearing love. Why? What could be scary about love? Isn’t this the feeling we are all looking for? In my opinion, the problem is the vulnerability that comes with love. The only…
Read MoreHere’s a guarantee at a time when guarantees are rare: change how you feel about you and your love-life will get better. Love-life defined as love in your interpersonal life whether it be in romance, friendship, family, or simply how you feel about people. The point is love has an affinity for positive self-esteem. Now you…
Read MoreThe most important question to ask yourself when you’re trying to make a change in your love-life is: How do my past experiences influence my love-life? It’s important to have some idea about what you’ve learned about love earlier in life and whether or not what you’ve learned is helping or hurting your love-life. What…
Read More- « Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3
- Next »