Talk About Being Sexually Harassed

cos_09The problem with traumatic experiences is we are “vulnerable” when they occur and we tend to hide them to “protect” ourselves. This simple reaction is understandable but interferes with the healing and resolution that needs to take place. Unresolved traumatic experiences can and will remain in the background of our ongoing experience negatively effecting what we do.  Over time feelings like “shame” and “guilt” tend to form further reinforcing our efforts to hide what happened.

The first step in getting the healing resolution started is to take the experience or experiences out of the mental “closet” we’ve hidden them in. Once out of the closet they can be “shared” with someone who cares and understands in order to wash away the shame and guilt that has formed. This washing away of shame and guilt usually occurs when a “victimized” person realizes she or he was without responsibility for the trauma and the difficulty other people may have had believing that it occurred. Remember, traumatic experience occurs when we are vulnerable. That means “powerless” to take control of the situation that is traumatizing us.

Coming out of the proverbial closet is simply put, an act of “self-liberation.” The decision to do something about the injury by sharing your experience of sexual trauma is courageous and powerful. This is the path from feeling powerless, ashamed, and guilty to the realization that you were hurt and violated by another person and  a repair is needed. It is the first and most important step you can take to take care of yourself. This first step involves putting the “fact” of your experience of trauma before any difficulty some people may have believing you.

Remember, there are many people in the world who are able to understand what happen to you. It won’t be difficult to find one when you are ready to come out and tell your experience to someone. Any sexual experience that violates the requirement of “personal permission” can be traumatizing. We are all individuals with the God given right to give permission and be respected as a person. When that right is violated it is time to stand up for ourselves as victims so that the negative effects of trauma will not re-injure our lives going forward. Come forward to go forward in health and happiness.

Comments are welcome, Dr. Jordan

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Dr. Jordan

Dr. Thomas Jordan is a clinical psychologist, certified interpersonal psychoanalyst, author, professor, and love life researcher.

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