Your Love Life & Job Performance

I’m sure you’ve heard of that old statistic that married men live longer and healthier than single men. I figure it has something to do with the fact that when you find love, worth marrying, something settles in you, therefore the phrase “settle down.” I think the same thing applies to women, and your physical health isn’t the only aspect of your life that can settle down when your love life gets healthier. Your ability to perform your job might be another.

Let’s take a look. If your job involves a good bit of figuring things out, let’s say it’s cognitively or intellectually challenging, you’ll have to utilize quite a bit of focus and concentration. Focus being keeping your mind on what it is you have to keep your mind on, and concentration is the intensity with which your mind needs to be focused. Ordinarily, when a person “goes to work” he or she has to “put aside” whatever might interfere with the application of focus and concentration.

One of the most interfering areas of anybody’s life is her or his emotional life, more specifically for our purposes, love life. Realistically speaking, you really can’t be worried about, thinking about, focusing on, or even concentrating on your love life while you are being paid to focus and concentrate on business. Simply put, if you’re thinking about (or feeling about) your love life at your job, you are not going to be doing your job very well.

Now it’s really unfair and untrue to assume that only happily married people can perform their job well. To be more precise, it’s not marriage itself that is important here, it’s how much control a person feels he or she has over her or his love life. The feeling of being in control of one’s love life has a lot to do with whether or not your love life is being steered or directed by your personal choices or, God forbid, something else like past unhealthy relationship experience, or even worse, someone else’s failed love life experiences.

Unfortunately, there are just too many people who are simply not in control of their love lives. The clearest sign that this is indeed the case is whether or not the same love life mistakes are being made over and over again. Multiple disappointments and an eventual resignation from an active love life are the usual manifestations of a love life out of control.

Some people resign from seeking or sustaining love early in their love lives after only a few disappointments, others after more repetitive disappointments, with resignation or avoidance of love ultimately occurring because love life experiences become just too damn painful. Becoming aware of how and what we are repeating in our love lives begins the process of taking back control of our love live experiences. From there, consciousness is deepened by realizing, what is being repeated is really a replication from previous relationship experiences that may not have been healthy.

The hard part of this effort at taking control is the fact that much if not most of these repetitive, replicating experiences in our love lives are not in our awareness. The good news is, what we are repeating and replicating from what we’ve learned about relationships in our love lives is learned. 

Not only is learning one of the things we humans do best, but unlearning and learning something better is always possible whenever learning is involved. So understanding how love life learning can be changed can put someone back in control of her love life despite previous disappointments.

Businesses interested in the psychological and/or emotional development of their employees can now construct staff development programs that help people become aware of how a love life out of control is hampering their job and/or professional performance. The emphasis would be on how to look for signs that it is happening, identifying what has been learned that is unhealthy, challenging the unhealthy learning, and practicing healthier love life lessons that positively influence all areas of a person’s life, including and most especially work.

Dr. Thomas Jordan

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit A Private Reply

Your Name*

Your Email*

Your Comment/Question

Anti-Spam Question

Love-Life Learning Center – Disclaimers

The Love-Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love-life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love-life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities
are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not an emergency or clinical service of any kind. The Love-Life Learning Center does not guarantee that your love-life, love relationships, or dating experiences, general health, or well-being will improve or be positively affected by listening to and/or reading its psycho-educational materials or participating in its website/blog activities.

The use of e-mail correspondence or tele-seminar services or any other website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center website does not intend to be or portray it self to be nor should it be used as a substitute for a mental health therapy, counseling, or clinical treatment of any kind.


The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any real or imagined damages that occur as a consequence of reading or listening to our psycho-educational materials or audio downloads/podcasts or participating in any other activity at our website/blog.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any psychological distress or emotional upset purported to be caused by our psycho-educational materials read or listened to, free or purchased at our website/blog, or while participating in any activity at our website/blog.


The Love-Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love-life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love-Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

Competence & Authorship

The Love-Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love-Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love-life related viewpoints.


Any person reading or listening to free and/or purchased psycho- educational materials or participating in any website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center is encouraged to remain anonymous except in the reporting of personal information for the purpose of making a credit payment. This personal information is utilized by our credit processing company for sales related activities and subject to their rules and regulations. The Love-Life Learning Center cannot be held responsible for any intentional or unintentional breach of this agreement to remain voluntarily anonymous before, during, and after utilizing its free or for sale psycho-educational materials or while participating in any website/blog activities.


As a user of free or for sale psycho-educational materials or webite/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog you agree to indemnify the Love-Life Learning Center together with its corporate officers, agents, employees, affiliates, parent companies, representatives, directors, shareholders and service providers and hold them harmless from any and all claims, fees, including but not limited to reasonable counsel fees, costs, judgments, damages and causes of action arising from or related to your use of its psycho-educational materials and/or audio downloads/podcasts and/or any and all of its website/blog activities.