When Sex Clouds Your Judgement

532px-Womens-love-vs-mens-love-joke.svg

There are a lot of good reasons to think clearly when it comes to having sex. Safe sex is probably the first one up. Unwanted pregnancy is a close second, and the emotional consequences to having sex with someone would be a third.

Of course we can’t pin this exclusively on men. There are plenty of women out there with sex on their minds. Perhaps it’s more obvious when a man’s judgement is temporarily impaired by his sex drive.

Regardless, the point is a man can get himself into a lot of unwanted trouble unless he thinks clearly about the who, how, when, where, and of course, the why of having sex with somebody.

As a man I like to think that the ability to choose is the most important indication of personal freedom. Without choice you are just reacting to things, like when the bell goes off, you salivate kind of thing.

With age most men get to the point in their lives where making a choice is the first thing that always happens. It’s a time in life where reactions get replaced by choices or free will if you like. It demonstrates a man’s independence or ability to think for himself. This generally occurs around middle age.

Now how about younger guys? Not all, but much of their experience is dominated by reactions. The thing to understand about reactions is they are stimulus-response with little if any thought in the middle. Something happens you react in a certain way, no choice, no change, just an action that gets repeated. That’s why it’s a re-action.

Now mix a lot of energy with a tendency to react and you’ve got the makings for some great adventures and potential disasters. Now I’m a firm believer in a man’s ability to learn new things at any and every stage of life including young adulthood. You don’t have to wait until middle age to think through how to respond to things. Because I’m talking about a disciplined skill here that can develop much earlier than middle-age.

The two most important areas of application for this type of personal development would be in your potential for aggressive and sexual reactions. If you are pushed by some ignorant guy who feels the need to fight somebody, that doesn’t mean you have to beat him to a pulp or worse. I like to think situations like this are an opportunity to do a little ‘power analysis.’

A power analysis consists of you asking yourself whether or not you are willing to give over to this offending party the ‘power’ to turn you into a violent out of control maniac? Thinking of this kind of situation in terms of ‘who has the power’ puts choice back into your consciousness where it belongs. Now if you do this little analysis and ‘decide’ to beat the guy to a pulp we have no more to talk about. You’ve made your choice and you’ll deal with whatever consequences occur. Done.

On the other hand, you might decide to walk away figuring that you’re not about to relinquish your self-control over the likes of somebody like this. You might decide it’s not worth it and you choose to save your time and energy. Look at it this way, you’re refusing the role as a co-lead in this guy’s violent movie.

Well, getting back to sex, why should sex be any different? Using the same metaphor, if you are offered a role in some leading lady’s action movie, is it worth your time and energy? Are you willing to take the risks and do you know the consequences? If the answer is yes, make your movie. The point is, you get to decide.

Comments? Welcome. Dr. Tom Jordan

How GeometricBoxWebsite Design Company can help you – Know with us

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit A Private Reply

Your Name*

Your Email*

Your Comment/Question

Anti-Spam Question

Love Life Learning Center – Disclaimers

The Love Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

The Love Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not an emergency or clinical service of any kind. The Love Life Learning Center does not guarantee that your love-life, love relationships, or dating experiences, general health, or well-being will improve or be positively affected by listening to and/or reading its psycho-educational materials or participating in its website/blog activities.

The use of e-mail correspondence or tele-seminar services or any other website/blog activities at the Love Life Learning Center website does not intend to be or portray it self to be nor should it be used as a substitute for a mental health therapy, counseling, or clinical treatment of any kind.

Responsibility

The Love Life Learning Center is not responsible for any real or imagined damages that occur as a consequence of reading or listening to our psycho-educational materials or audio downloads/podcasts or participating in any other activity at our website/blog.

The Love Life Learning Center is not responsible for any psychological distress or emotional upset purported to be caused by our psycho-educational materials read or listened to, free or purchased at our website/blog, or while participating in any activity at our website/blog.

Intentions

The Love Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

Competence & Authorship

The Love Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love life related viewpoints.

Confidentiality

Any person reading or listening to free and/or purchased psycho- educational materials or participating in any website/blog activities at the Love Life Learning Center is encouraged to remain anonymous except in the reporting of personal information for the purpose of making a credit payment. This personal information is utilized by our credit processing company for sales related activities and subject to their rules and regulations. The Love Life Learning Center cannot be held responsible for any intentional or unintentional breach of this agreement to remain voluntarily anonymous before, during, and after utilizing its free or for sale psycho-educational materials or while participating in any website/blog activities.

Indemnify

As a user of free or for sale psycho-educational materials or webite/blog activities at the Love Life Learning Center website/blog you agree to indemnify the Love Life Learning Center together with its corporate officers, agents, employees, affiliates, parent companies, representatives, directors, shareholders and service providers and hold them harmless from any and all claims, fees, including but not limited to reasonable counsel fees, costs, judgments, damages and causes of action arising from or related to your use of its psycho-educational materials and/or audio downloads/podcasts and/or any and all of its website/blog activities.

How GeometricBoxWebsite Design Company can help you – Know with us