What Did Your Family Teach You About Love?

What did your family teach you about love? Weird question? I don’t think so. Your family of origin, that classroom you spend your childhood in, taught you all kinds of things about life. In this case, I’m particularly interested in what they’ve taught you about your “love life.”

Here’s the problem, chances are pretty good that what you’ve learned about love in your family of origin was learned “unconsciously” without your awareness or choice. You really weren’t able to determine whether the “lessons” were healthy or not. Plus, you were pretty vulnerable at that time in your life so pretty much whatever they taught you will make it into the depths of your mind without much resistance or even review.

If what you’ve learned about love was “healthy,” this article might be a waste of your time. But if what you’ve learned about your love life was “unhealthy” it may be time for review and changes. The chances are pretty good that what you’ve learned will be your “blueprint” for how your love life turns out. Don’t believe it? Think about it for a minute. What we learn to expect has a very powerful effect on what we end up experiencing in life. Just how this formulae ends up creating what we expect is not really known. Perhaps its due to some kind of mysterious creative process that takes place even when you’re sleepwalking through every day life. Who knows…

I’m figuring we all have two options: #1. Live out your love life according to what you were taught in your family, accepting whatever outcome it predicts for you, or; #2. Make what you’ve learned conscious and do something about it, if some or all of what you’ve learned was unhealthy. Personally I’ll go with option #2. I’d like to believe that my love life belongs to me, not some experience I had years ago watching how my father related to my mother in their marriage.

Victoria and I get a steady stream of people in our offices who are replicating the love lives of their parents, without really knowing that that is happening. You and I, and everyone else on this planet, gets one shot at living a satisfying if not happy life. And your love life will be a huge part of that life. Put it like this, if you are not in charge of your love life, then something else is. Scary to say the least. I don’t think anyone wants to find out after several painful relationships and/or marriages and a lot of time alone, that what they believe about love (taught to them by people who suffered from what they themselves learned) was not healthy enough to have a satisfying love life.

Here’s my advice: Do something different, think about what your experiences in life have taught you about love, and choose what’s right for you.

Comments welcome, Dr. Jordan

One Response to What Did Your Family Teach You About Love?

  1. K

    what if i don’t even have the chance to choose.. my destiny is controlled by my family

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Love-Life Learning Center – Disclaimers

The Love-Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love-life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love-life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities
are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

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The Love-Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love-life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love-Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

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The Love-Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love-Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love-life related viewpoints.

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