Love-Life Tip: Tolerate Vulnerability

The biggest problem with love is our tendency to avoid the feeling of vulnerability. The way we (humans) do that is to construct defenses to protect ourselves from the discomfort and expected dangers of vulnerability. To be vulnerable is to be open and receptive to what comes from the world and from inside of ourselves.

Problem is, open and receptive to what exactly? We’d all like to think we can regulate this open state of mind and heart so that only love and good things enter. Unfortunately that is not possible. To be ‘open hearted’ is to be open to what can enrich and what can hurt. Thankfully we can heal. If not, none of us would love for very long.

The closed defensive heart does not feel the hurts of disappointed love. Instead, the closed heart suffers the effects of disconnection and loneliness over time. The type of defenses that people can use to control the effects of love and close the heart to hurt are endless. Any thought, feeling, or action can be commissioned for a defensive purpose. If you’ve been hurt in your life and that hurt has not healed, you are probably using defenses to prevent any further hurt. You might not even know what they are at this point. You’ve used them for so long they’ve become a part of your usual way of life.

If you are tired of being alone and living with a closed heart, if you feel it is time for a change, you can practice tolerating more vulnerability in your life. Pick a few situations where you might do something different. Something less defensive, something where you can take a tolerable risk. Something involving your emotions might be a good place to start. Do something unexpected and spontaneous. Something that allows you to feel more loving toward yourself and others. Something that allows you to feel more alive in the present moments of your life.

This practice will be an effort to loosen up your routine defensive way of living. Moments of vulnerability can become more and more tolerable and as a consequence you’ll be more and more receptive to love. If this kind of thing is too scary, hire a professional person to support your efforts to change, but stay in charge. Work specifically toward opening your heart and ridding yourself of anything that blocks that from happening. Remember, no matter how defensive you’ve become in your life, you are still (and will always be) the ‘owner and operator’ of your mind and body.  Dr. T. Jordan

 

 

 

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One Response to Love-Life Tip: Tolerate Vulnerability

  1. Caley

    Your answer shows real intellgience.

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The Love Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

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The Love Life Learning Center is not responsible for any real or imagined damages that occur as a consequence of reading or listening to our psycho-educational materials or audio downloads/podcasts or participating in any other activity at our website/blog.

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The Love Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

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The Love Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love life related viewpoints.

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Any person reading or listening to free and/or purchased psycho- educational materials or participating in any website/blog activities at the Love Life Learning Center is encouraged to remain anonymous except in the reporting of personal information for the purpose of making a credit payment. This personal information is utilized by our credit processing company for sales related activities and subject to their rules and regulations. The Love Life Learning Center cannot be held responsible for any intentional or unintentional breach of this agreement to remain voluntarily anonymous before, during, and after utilizing its free or for sale psycho-educational materials or while participating in any website/blog activities.

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