Love-Life Tip: Express Hurt Not Anger

In your love-life you can’t work with anger or its extreme form rage. Anger is often a defense against the hurt, fear, or vulnerability you can feel in a love relationship. When angry you are not open to reflecting on yourself or working on a relationship. You are simply interested in self-protection and in some cases inflicting the hurt you’re feeling on someone else.

Anger and rage are not love oriented emotions. They are control oriented emotions. Their ultimate purpose is to control a threat. In this case, the threat is emotional pain and hurt feelings. Practice communicating hurt not anger. Do this for the simple reason that hurt can be more easily healed in a love relationship. When communicating hurt, other people tend not to get as defensive. This makes it easier to solve relationship problems with someone you love.  Dr. T. Jordan