Just Sex or Love Relationship?

If you’re dating, this is the very first question to answer. Unfortunately, assumptions can be made on very little information. The most common assumption derived from hope is: he or she is here for a relationship. Sorry, that might not be the case. If you are dating for sex, this article will be of little interest to you, unless you’re curious about how people looking for a love relationship can be instructed to weed out the pretenders, or people who are not.

When you’ve reached the point in life when you realize you need a love relationship, and it varies for individuals just when this happens, how and why you date will be transformed. You might become a bit more serious minded, less focused on your own pleasures, more interested in adding a meaningful companionship to your life. Of course, you’ll want to do this, hopefully, with someone you find attractive.

The problem is, not everyone out there in the dating “marketplace” is emotionally available for a love relationship. Most people that aren’t know it and are probably keeping that a secret for the obvious reasons. Then of course, you have your wannabes. People who aren’t ready for a love relationship but believe wholeheartedly that they should be.

As a relationship-minded person, looking for that love chemistry AND the relationship that will nurture and grow the spark of love you feel, you’ve got to determine who is and is not emotionally available for a love relationship among the prospects that come before you. Notice I said, “emotionally available for a love relationship” not just “emotionally available for love.” We are all emotionally available for love. Love or spark or chemistry, whatever you want to call it, is the easy part. The fact that you’re human guarantees that you’ll have little control over that. What is controllable is the kind of love relationship you’ll form when love strikes.

Basically, a person looking for a “love relationship” will not only be attracted to someone, but at the same time be recognizably interested in who that person is. Think about it, most of us know when someone is interested in who you are. And I don’t mean just what’s in your wallet, or your status, or your family crest, I mean who you are as a person, your interests, you passions, your talents, your hangups, you devotions, your quirks, etc. What defines you as the unique person you are. When this is happening, you’ll know it.

The opposing experience, of course, is some form of self-centeredness along with very little patience for listening to or learning about someone else, and doing the work of getting to know intimately who you have fallen in love with. One of the most effective “tools” in determining the presence of emotional availability and a sincere interest in “relationship” as opposed to fun, a temporary fling, the attention a person can get on the fly, or the old stand-by, self-centered orgasmic pleasure, is time.

If you are looking for a love relationship, remember interest sustained over time is your best and most reliable way of confirming the presence of emotional availability. If you meet someone who is visually attractive, but possesses a very short attention span for sustained interest over time, expect that he or she will be “moving on” at the first available opportunity. There is just too much attractiveness in the world to stay in one place when a love relationship is not on your mind.

Comments welcome, Dr. Jordan

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Love-Life Learning Center – Disclaimers

The Love-Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love-life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love-life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities
are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not an emergency or clinical service of any kind. The Love-Life Learning Center does not guarantee that your love-life, love relationships, or dating experiences, general health, or well-being will improve or be positively affected by listening to and/or reading its psycho-educational materials or participating in its website/blog activities.

The use of e-mail correspondence or tele-seminar services or any other website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center website does not intend to be or portray it self to be nor should it be used as a substitute for a mental health therapy, counseling, or clinical treatment of any kind.

Responsibility

The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any real or imagined damages that occur as a consequence of reading or listening to our psycho-educational materials or audio downloads/podcasts or participating in any other activity at our website/blog.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any psychological distress or emotional upset purported to be caused by our psycho-educational materials read or listened to, free or purchased at our website/blog, or while participating in any activity at our website/blog.

Intentions

The Love-Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love-life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love-Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

Competence & Authorship

The Love-Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love-Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love-life related viewpoints.

Confidentiality

Any person reading or listening to free and/or purchased psycho- educational materials or participating in any website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center is encouraged to remain anonymous except in the reporting of personal information for the purpose of making a credit payment. This personal information is utilized by our credit processing company for sales related activities and subject to their rules and regulations. The Love-Life Learning Center cannot be held responsible for any intentional or unintentional breach of this agreement to remain voluntarily anonymous before, during, and after utilizing its free or for sale psycho-educational materials or while participating in any website/blog activities.

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