I’m Falling For A Man With A Kid

I’m Falling For A Man With A Kid

You fell in love. The only problem is the man has a kid. Is this your problem and if so why? In this post we’ll talk about the pros and cons to falling in love with a ‘single’ man who has a kid (or in some cases more than one).

If you made some kind of promise to yourself that you would never get serious about a guy with a child, let’s talk about it a little. A woman doesn’t make a promise like this unless she doesn’t like children, doesn’t want to raise anybody else’s kids, or she believes that once you’ve had a kid (or more than one) you are tarnished in some way (variation on losing your virginity theme).

If you don’t like kids, fine, not much to say except, good luck finding someone without kids who doesn’t want kids. And I really mean that. You should get what you want. There are plenty of single people out there without children and I know some of them don’t want kids.

Now suppose you made this promise to yourself because you didn’t want to raise someone else’s kids. So you want kids, just not someone else’s kids. So you’re not like the person who doesn’t want kids. You want kids, just your own.

Watch out, because if you want kids you’re susceptible to the influence of children and men who have children. You’ll appreciate the fact that this guy that you met takes care of his kid the way he does. Chances are it will warm your heart.

This will be a problem for you because if you get warmed up like that you might start overlooking that fact that he has a kid. Now, if you’re absolutely convinced it’s better to give up on a potential love with the father of a child because you want to stay true to your promise. Get away quickly.

I might remind you before you go, about how rare true love can be. If you’re already ‘in love’ with this guy and getting away because your potential lover has a child, you may regret your loss. If you decide to look into the possibility that your promise may have been made prematurely, meaning before you met this particular guy, you’re about to let your heart decide what to do. In my mind, you have the makings of a true lover and you’re courageous too.

Of course, there is a chance you could fall in love with his child. I must caution you, if that happens you’ll have two loves to contend with and it’ll be impossible to leave. Oh well, don’t worry, that is one of the most beautiful love-life problems to have. Good luck trying to figure out how to love two people at the same time. You are one lucky lady.

If you think a man with a kid is tarnished or used up in some way, I feel sorry for you. A single man devoted to the care of a daughter or son from a previous relationship that stopped working or never worked at all, is a sign of the capacity to love and be responsible.

As far as I know, it is harder for a man to get custody of a young child than his or her mother. Some one in authority decided that this father has what it takes to love and offer the best care for his child. He has the capacity to love and be responsible at the same time. Two wonderful qualities when it comes to judging character and picking a lover.

To all the single men out there who are fathers of a child or children, you are one of the best expressions of what is most noble in the character of men. If you’re a single father reading this, I truly hope you know what I mean.

Comments? Welcome. Dr. Tom Jordan

 

2 Responses to I’m Falling For A Man With A Kid

  1. iza

    Hi. I was just flirting with this guy whom at first i thought was single, but then on our first date, the first time i met him, he became so honest he told me he has three kids. His wife lives with him, too. But they’re not married. they just plainly live and do the parent role for the kids. But i still gave in because i was physically attracted to him. We made love, and after a week we met again. We had it for the 2nd time, and this time, we had a deeper connection to each other. He wanted to pretend to be my boyfriend. i told him it would be very hard, i tried to leave, but im starting to have this “hurt” feeling. i dont wanna let him go. What could be other ways of staying away from him? I’m afraid i’m beginning to fall for him.

    • andrea

      wow iza, i’m having the same problem as you! how did it go? were you able to stay away or what? let me know, i’m currently in that same situation right now 🙁

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit A Private Reply

Your Name*

Your Email*

Your Comment/Question

Anti-Spam Question

Love-Life Learning Center – Disclaimers

The Love-Life Learning Center online is a psycho-educational website/blog offering love-life related psycho-educational materials and activities including free website/blog content, and audio downloads/podcasts and tele-seminars for sale, to individual users with a broad range of love-life problems. Users are English-speaking adult men and women twenty-one (21) years of age and older.

Not Treatment

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational website/blog focused exclusively upon educating adult men and women about the psychology of love-life issues and problems. Our Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities are not psychotherapy, counseling, or a mental health treatment or therapy of any kind, nor should a Love-Life Learning Center’s psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for psychotherapy or other appropriate and necessary mental health treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not a psychiatric treatment for psychiatric symptoms or illness, nor should any of our psycho-educational materials or website/blog activities be used as a substitute for appropriate and necessary psychiatric treatments and services.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities
are not a medical treatment. Our psycho-educational materials and website/blog activities will not prevent, cure, or treat any kind of medical, psychiatric, or psychological illness or problem, nor should our psycho-educational materials or wbsite/blog activities be utilized as a substitute for appropriate and necessary medical treatments and services. If you are currently suffering from suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic symptoms, or mental illness of any kind you should seek appropriate psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic services at a hospital or clinic in your area.

The Love-Life Learning Center’s materials and website/blog activities are not an emergency or clinical service of any kind. The Love-Life Learning Center does not guarantee that your love-life, love relationships, or dating experiences, general health, or well-being will improve or be positively affected by listening to and/or reading its psycho-educational materials or participating in its website/blog activities.

The use of e-mail correspondence or tele-seminar services or any other website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center website does not intend to be or portray it self to be nor should it be used as a substitute for a mental health therapy, counseling, or clinical treatment of any kind.

Responsibility

The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any real or imagined damages that occur as a consequence of reading or listening to our psycho-educational materials or audio downloads/podcasts or participating in any other activity at our website/blog.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not responsible for any psychological distress or emotional upset purported to be caused by our psycho-educational materials read or listened to, free or purchased at our website/blog, or while participating in any activity at our website/blog.

Intentions

The Love-Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love-life issues, themes, or problems.
The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older. This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one (21), with or without parental consent.

The Love-Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love-Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not a dating or introductory service for men and women seeking dating, meeting, and/or networking experiences.

The Love-Life Learning Center is not for the procurement of online cyber-sexual contact or as a prelude to offline sexual contact or relations.

Competence & Authorship

The Love-Life Learning Center website/blog is owned and operated by T. M. Jordan, Ph.D., Psychologist, P.C. a New York State based corporation. The views espoused in the psycho-educational free text and audio downloads/podcasts available at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog solely reflect the views of its owners and operators. Individual users participating in any and all of the Love-Life Learning Center’s website/blog activities are solely and exclusively responsible for their own written and/or verbally expressed love-life and/or not love-life related viewpoints.

Confidentiality

Any person reading or listening to free and/or purchased psycho- educational materials or participating in any website/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center is encouraged to remain anonymous except in the reporting of personal information for the purpose of making a credit payment. This personal information is utilized by our credit processing company for sales related activities and subject to their rules and regulations. The Love-Life Learning Center cannot be held responsible for any intentional or unintentional breach of this agreement to remain voluntarily anonymous before, during, and after utilizing its free or for sale psycho-educational materials or while participating in any website/blog activities.

Indemnify

As a user of free or for sale psycho-educational materials or webite/blog activities at the Love-Life Learning Center website/blog you agree to indemnify the Love-Life Learning Center together with its corporate officers, agents, employees, affiliates, parent companies, representatives, directors, shareholders and service providers and hold them harmless from any and all claims, fees, including but not limited to reasonable counsel fees, costs, judgments, damages and causes of action arising from or related to your use of its psycho-educational materials and/or audio downloads/podcasts and/or any and all of its website/blog activities.